Top 10 reasons NOT to give up

1: Everyone who ever told you that you can’t/ Wont….Don’t you DARE prove them right!

   2: You will regret it for the rest of your life and anyone involved with said quitting, you will secretly resent as well

3: Do you REALLY want to? I doubt it!

4: Because it’s like working out, or trying to date someone that isn’t necessarily sure they’re ready but you both know its right…..If you do it, with all the struggles and trials and bad things that no doubt will happen, you will look back and be so grateful for the ride.

5: THE RIDE!!!! OMG the bad and the good and everything in between is what makes this whole damn thing worth it.

6: Because, musician or not, things that you have to work this hard for are so great and test your character, morals, motivation, and even stamina. You find who you really are and when you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone, which you have to a lot whether its pleasing a different crowd, or telling a booking agent to fuck off because they’re ridiculous, its good for you to stand your ground and be who you are.

7: You will learn what drives and inspires you. If you believe in Karma and Chi you know that this sort of thing is the best for finding your center.

8: It’s different than what most other people do in their lives and someday you can inspire others with your commitment to something so different and really looked down on. People never think you’ll make it so when you can do what you love against all odds its inspiring no matter what level you’re at.

9: You learn who real friends are, who has character, who will stab you in the back for a dollar, and who will stand behind you when you act like a total douche. Some of the best actors I ever met were musicians who act like they’re you’re friends because as any of you know, we can all help each other somehow. There is a LOT of people who will use you. The reason not to quit here is that when you find your friends they’re so everlasting and important to you that you will have people you can rely on that you may have never met otherwise.

10: Because if you were really passionate about this to do it and say you want it you would NEVER give up. Everyone has a split second where they say ‘maybe I should just be done’ but it’s in you. Its part of you and you need to do this if you’re REALLY passionate about it. Do not let the pressures of society get to you. Don’t live your life wishing you had.

Practice Makes Improvement; My month of daily practice

I challenged myself last month to practice guitar and/or sing every night for a minimum of 20 minutes. All but 3 nights, I did it.

I wanted to tell you about what I learned because it really pointed a few things out to me.

First, I am retaining the songs I practice better when I play that often.

Next, I never played for only 20 minutes. It was always an hour or more. Its so easy to keep going once you start.

Then, I started feeling my voice getting stronger and my guitar playing getting better.

I also had nights where I was MISERABLE and tired and didn’t want to play so I would have to make myself do it anyway and all but one of those times, once I started, I was glad I did it.

The biggest thing I got out of it was that we played 3 shows on Saturday, and then again 1 on Sunday and by the time we got done I was exhausted but there is NO way my voice would have held up for all that if I hadn’t been strengthening it.

I know now that this challenge I gave myself is something I need to continue. I challenged all our Facebook followers to challenge themselves to do something and got no response. It made me sad because as people AND musicians we should always be challenging ourselves to be better and not one person wanted to improve anything.

I challenge you now. Think of something you need or want and challenge yourself to get it. Sometimes it will be hard. Sometimes it will be the hardest thing in the world. I wanted to just go to bed and sleep quite a few nights and the first night I missed, I only missed because I got home from work and was about dead so I went strait to sleep. I was so sad the next day that I missed one day. It was easier to push myself on tired nights after that.

I truly believe that we all can improve ourselves; we just need to decide what’s first to work on. Now that I know I have at least a LITTLE discipline, I will try to eat better lol.

Booking....all up in your face!

I want to send out unwarranted advice to any musician who is interested in booking gigs.
If you are paying someone to book that doesn't give you information for your gigs it makes YOU look bad when you're late, missing equipment you needed etc so if you can get a handle on this yourself, you're golden AND you will make more $$. If you find someone who can do this for you as well as you could without getting you blacklisted from gigs, TAKE IT!

I get asked about booking....a lot. If you don't know...Ty and I play A LOT. At LEAST 1 show a week. Average 2. Sometimes 3 and on a crazy week 4 but that's VERY rare. But still..its not quantity. its quality. I could make us play every night if I wanted to but we still work full time and that's rough. Because I am able to get us booked on a consistent basis for months at a time, I somehow have started getting asked advice. At first I though it was unfair for me to give advice on something I know very little about. Then, I started talking to the people who were asking and it occurred to me...We have been doing this...this intense.... for a few years now.
I decided that perception is 99% of success. If you ask someone when their next opening is, and they say 2 months or 3 months down the line, its a little impressive. If you ask and they have no shows nor prospects, it takes away a bit of dazzle. Tell me I'm wrong here.
Some of the people who ask have yet to play out live.
I encourage this. Performing live  scary as hell, and yet empowering and suddenly your song is over, and unless your crowd is a bunch of ass holes, you get this feeling that can't be beat. It may be applause, it may be silence, we all have our own desired result. Nothing is better than playing a song you really feel with all your heart and nailing it and then that rush that comes.

So. Here is my advice. This is not the bible. This is not set in stone in any way. Something I do may NOT work for someone else. As a matter of fact...adopt that idea NOW. If someone else is doing it, try something else. Sorry...its the way of the music world.
First. Do an open mic. You'll NEED to make sure you like it. I have seen people that said 'I want to play music SOOO bad!!!! and then they hated it...not many...but a few. Rinse and repeat. You need to play a bit before you start asking people to book you at venues and even more to ask them to pay you. Why would you hire someone to babysit your kids if they have never been around kids in their life?
Next, where can you perform? Obviously, If you're under 21...there's no reason to call bars.
Lets say you're us. Why? Because I don't know what has happened to everyone else....sillies.:)
Don't DECIDE where you can perform. Unfortunately, at least in Utah, very few "venues" besides clubs pay the musicians. This means, if you want to make a living, you need to figure out how to play a bar crowd. Do you HAVE to? Remember earlier when I said this isn't the bible? Ok. :) (playing a bar crowd...there is no advice. Figure it out your way because someone else's way is not YOU and crowds sense that.)
Play anywhere that will take you if you have to for the first little bit. Some places never even listen to your music and you open for heavy metal. This is perfectly normal. And I think good for you. If you can't hang with what ever is put in front of you, you'd better get good at it. Our first gig in SLC was at Burts Tiki Lounge. Nice folks. More than that though, you're getting experience.

How do I find gigs????
Ready??????
Get a phone book, or, if you are against hard, hold in your hand books with paper, go to google.
I will continue with phonebook reference. Translate to Google where necessary.
Open it.
Go to the yellow pages.
Look up bars, clubs, coffee shops, restaurants, pubs, entertainment....anything you can think of that associates music.
Pick a place.
Call them.
When they answer ask first (if you don't already know) 'Do you have live music there?' If they say no thank them and move on. If they say yes, ask them how a band would go about booking a performance there sometime. They will direct you one way or another from there. Do what they say. email? Call? Call after a certain time? (very common) Do it. If you keep calling back doing every thing you weren't supposed to do they will hate that.
Build your list and keep it. As you go you will run into multiple repetitive listings and you don't want to call the same place 3 times asking if they have live music. Also, you're building your call list. This is imperative to booking. I literally went down a copy of the phone book bars and restaurants yellow pages with a highlighter, called them all, asked if they had live music, and highlighted the ones that did. On each call I got any info on booking or took notes if I was to call back later.
My point of this initial calling was to get my list done and ready so I could call and look to it next time.
Its something I try to do again later and then will continue to do periodically to keep my listings up to date.
Booking is hard. Its scary. More than that, its time consuming to start. Just get to the point and be polite and courteous and professional. Booking people can be assholes, dicks, and bitches. Don't let it get you down. And remember, something bad has to happen at least once or you're dreaming.
A few years (Yes more than likely years) in, you will have met many new people along the way. Sometimes a gig you play for free will lead you to a paid opportunity. (Remember also, the easier you are to work with, reasonable, and nicer you are, the more likely they are to want to have you around). We have scored SOOO many amazing gigs from free gigs. We got booked at pride because we played at a free fundraiser gig and a guy who books for Pride happened to be there. Funny thing was we finished our set and Fox13 came in to film for the news so they missed us and we were sort of sad we were missed but then booking at Pride Fest is AMAZING and it was 100% worth playing that free gig.
We did a free gig at The First Unitarian Church that has music all the time and it lead to a few people that now email and hook us up with gigs.
We played at a summer concert the other day for free that lead to the manager of the restaurant giving us his email to book paying gigs.
Do NOT think you are above a gig. Either you love playing or you don't but you are not better than anyone or anything if you're just doing what you love. Otherwise, it becomes work. I don't want to work my life away. I want to play music.
Just remember, if you love something, you will find a way to have it. You will do what ever it takes, to get that to stay in your life, and you will be glad you did. Push through the crappiness of the first year of booking and then all of a sudden it pretty much does it on its own.
Remember that feeling older musicians? :)
Here are a few tips to help you.
Try this website indieonthemove.com  You can find venues you know or don't know and even gives you contact info for many places. It also lists the styles of music that they book and sometimes tells you if they pay. You can book in town or across the country and you can contact other musicians all over the US about gig trading.
Also, if you're stumped and google isn't helping try face book. It takes a little patience to find the right place to go but there is a way to search for live music in different cities. Its cool because many places wont be in a google search but they do have a face book page.
Good luck guys :) And remember. Booking SUCKS but if you can get good at it its so easy and pretty much does it on its own.

I'm BAAAACK!

Hey everyone. Remember when I used to do a blog and then I didn't. Ya me too. I've decided that as a New Years resolution (which I normally disagree with 100% as most of them are a set up for failure) it was time I start sharing again. This year, I will be unapologetic and say what I want. One thing I hate about facebook and other social networks is that I feel like I have to watch what I say. In all reality I think that idea is bull shit but I try to be considerate. To start a blog is like a very public diary and I have never censored my diary.....unless I thought someone was reading it lol.

Today I want to touch on paying your dues and the stupid little decisions that can and mostly will effect your progress. This can apply to non musicians too. You can't continuously change your college major and expect a super sweet high paying job to land in your lap. (rarely anyway lol)
I know many people who have reinvented themselves many times over or even just one or two times in an effort to become what they think they should. We have stayed the same group but had to start over due to name changes and moving and sound changes. We still fight for club gigs because of our reputation for slow music.
Ironically I wanted to write about this and then I read a blog from one of my favorite music professionals Cari Cole. She teaches in New York and we were fortunate to meet her in LA at ASCAP. She has many years of experience in music and the professional side of the business and I swear by her advice. Google her. You ll find her and love her. (or go to http://www.caricole.com). She talked today about being you for you and how important that is. She also talked about how no ones journey is the same.
I heard Matt Nathanson talk about this last year at ACAP as well. Just because someone makes it one way doesn't mean you will and honestly chances are BECAUSE someone made it one way your chances of following in their footsteps are much lower.
Here's my advice, remember, it may be coming from an undiscovered artist but still, we are progressively getting somewhere so don't count me out completely. Good advice is always good advice no matter the source.
They say you pay your dues for an average of 10 years. 10 years is a long time but it separates the men from the boys, it shows who is serious and for a company, record exec, financier, anyone who is paying attention, there is something to be said for sitting back while a band builds its fan base, becomes something bigger, and shows they are serious. Anyone can play music. Not everyone can react properly or even handle how the business will treat them.
The trick is to grow and evolve in your current world or move on as quickly as you can so you can properly pay your dues. If you have been playing for 30 years and have yet to hit what ever level your goal may be, I am willing to bet you've been in several bands or projects. This is because you don't pay your dues as a person. You pay them as a project. It takes 10 years on average for enough people to hear of your music to stand out above everyone else. If you change your genre, your city, your band name, you're pretty much starting over. Very rarely can you make a name for yourself moving around and changing yourself at all times. Can you imagine a business changing names and advertising that they sell floor cleaner and then you to find them and they're named something else and sell Dry wall? How can they get business that way? They will constantly battle their previous name and ideas against their new stuff.
As a solo artist it's the same. But when youre in a band you're involving other people in those changes. Either their not in your band anymore (generaly you can take away the fans that person brought from your attendance list) or they now have to tell their friends they bought in as fans that you're different and people don't respond well to being a fan of something that changes. Like your favorite restaurant. I used to love Ruby Tusdays and then they changed and as they're out of business now, I take it I wasn't the only one unhappy about it.
Be you for 10 years strait. Don't change your genre, don't change your name, don't feel entitled to a bigger following or crowd because you started playing alone 20 years ago and have been with your current band for 5 months. It doesn't work that way.
Final piece of advice. Be you and be consistent but evolve. You can't continue to play the same songs with the same set list the same way over and over and over and expect people not to get bored. You have to grow. How? Fuck if i know! Its not the same for everyone. People become your fan because they like watching you become someone they look up to more and more. And of course your music. But more the latter......just remember how many famous bands there are out there that aren't THAT great. It's because their fans love them. They love them for who they are and have been and who they're becoming. Find what youre best at at do it better every time and make it something people notice most. Harmonica? Learn some kick ass harp solos and rock the shit out of them. Singer? Splatter your heart all over the audience. Guitarist? Learn or write some sweet riffs and knock the socks off your crowd even if there are only 2 people there. Then....keep doing it. Not always the same solos and songs, do more and more AND get really good at the ones you already did.

Be willing to stick through 10 years minimum before you see results. If not, that's fine too but don't expect much more than a hobby.

Thanks for reading.
Xoxo

30 Things I've Learned in 30 Years

I apologize for not writing for so long. Honestly, between work and music and also having a shitty laptop that is so slow it takes forever to register typing it's been hard. But. No more excuses.
I will start back in with something that just came to me and made me HAVE to start up again. From my phone. Because my laptop. Ya know lol.
Everyone keeps acting like turning 30 is such a big deal. Sure. It's the end of a certain time in life. Like high school graduation. Suddenly there are things I feel are less socially acceptable and growing up is a little more important. But I feel no older than 25. It's all on the inside. So here I go. MY list of what I learned and opinions I've formed in 30 years.
1: Do things sooner. We all wait too damn long to follow our dreams and then wake up and we forgot about them. If you are inspired let it be and go for it.
2: Standing up for myself is 100% ok. We all deserve to be heard and no one should make you feel nuts for feeling a certain way. It's also 100% ok to stand up for someone else even if no one will agree with you.
3: I would love to have Giselle's body BUHliEVe me! But. I'm Hott damnit and that's just fine. Being happy with yourself MAKES you attractive. I'm like a fine wine. I get better with age. I feel better. I look better. I know myself better.
4: Pay your bills first. Then have fun.
5: Have sex, make out, fool around, and.....you know. Other stuff. It's healthy and fun and good for you and no one should die without feeling one of those feelings. Just one.
6: I tell the truth because a close family member is a habitual liar. It hurt my family deeply. I won't lie to you. If you're have something hanging from your nose I'll tell you and if I think you're making a mistake I'll tell you but I also value a sensitive friendship. I may tell you you're being stupid but I'll also tell you l love and support you.
7: Being A little selfish sometimes is ok.
8: Do it if it feels right or regret not doing it when you had the chance.
9: Keep your private battles private except for a very few close friends. Too many ears cuts your battles value and clouds advice.
10: Thank people often.
11: Gay people are just fine by me and add an extra umph to any party ;) I am pro LGBT and have a very strong stance that if you are lucky enough to find somone you love, thats all you need and no one has a right to tell you other wise. On the same token, to come out or change your sex wouldn't be an easy thing socially and I respect the guts it takes to do so.
12: Politics are bull shit. It's a bunch of rich ass holes fingerpointing.
13: You can become famous for REALLY anything. Just do it over and over enough until enough people see you do it that you're mentioned in conversation. Done.
14: Dream Big It's Free!
15: Traveling is a must.
16: I am the nicest bitch you'll ever meet. Be good to me and it's returned. Wrong me in a real way and see the wrath. It's not fun.
17: Nothing turns out like you think
18: We can't do it all. We can't have it all. We can sure WANT it all.
19: Dissapointment starts and ends when you're born and when you die.
20: So does happiness
21: The best times I ever had were sober. Alcohol is fun but not everything.
22: It's ok to loose at the game 'I've Never'.....Depending on the raunch level.
23: Change is scary. Its also inevitable.
24: Sugar is bad for my teeth and everyone in my family gets diabetes but I eat sweets a LOT. Live it up while you can. This also applies to more than sweets.
25: Sacrifice is hard but necessary if you want something.
26: 30 shows no signs of wrinkles but I am tired more. Fighting that is good for you. I have to make myself do things more than I used to. Make yourself do things.
27: Work out. No weight loss? Who cares. It makes you feel good.
28: Playing games is for the young and patient. I am FAR from patient and never liked playing games. Save yourself some time and heartache. Don't play games.
29: I never broke a bone in my life but I have many scars from love. I have had more relationships, loves, and losses than most normal healthy people and I wouldn't trade any of it because sometimes we don't know what we DON'T want until we have it. AND Sometimes we don't know what we DO want until we don't have it.
30: This has become my motto. 'The only thing in life you CAN control is whether or not you have regrets.' I have some regrets and mostly its things I DIDN'T do. Keep that in mind.

These are the highlights of what I have learned. I know there are more but its hard to fit every piece of wisdom in a top 30 list. :)

Honestly, 30 years have been sad, happy, awful, and wonderful so bring it on 40!

One CRAAAZY Week and A Half!

Sitting here enjoying some quality day time television because I dont have to work I am trying to remember all that has happened. A few weeks ago we had the busiest week we have had in a long time and we felt like total Rockstars! LOL It actually started on Thursday a few weeks ago. Our festival is well on its way and we are/were in need of sponsors. No one would give us a strait answer so I went out to park city, Sponsor Packet in hand, and went to any business I could give reason and asked them to give us money. Its scary and uncomfortable. As statistics usually go in these things, we came away with 1 yes. BUT, we found others in other ways. It felt like a wasted day off at first. Now I realize it was successful. I found a place called Reyes Adobo in Park City who has delish tacos. Friday night we played at Fat's Grill with Steven Swift. He is so damn good! Saturday night we played at a benefit concert in Layton for a little girl named Paige with cancer. We then drove over to Poplar Street Pub to watch Steven Swift play the rest of his set. There was a 'Le Bus' that dropped off a group of people who I am pretty sure are extras on Jersey Shore, and this group of women who were failing at dancing sexy for the bar lol. Sunday, we were working on good ol Acoustic All-Stars stuff and did the father's day stuff. Monday, we worked and then joined our new friends Mateo Coleti and Rachael Alvine to be extras in their new show on Park CityTV called This Is Park City. That was a very fun night. Spending time filming clips at Butcher's Chop House... And Lindzee O'Michaels where we took a shotski, found out a salad from the sushi bar next door isn't exactly what you expect, and danced in the parking lot. And this guy, Tuesday night, we played at The Grove Theater event to break the world record. Unfortunately, they had a few things happen that stopped them from succeeding before it even began, but I thought it was super cool that they just kept on going anyway. We met this cool guy (and I apologize because I can't remember his name) that did THE best cover of John Mayer's cover of Tom Petty's Free Fallin. I think I found my next tattoo lol. JEALOUS! Wednesday, We met with Mateo and Rachael, and Alex from Rovali's Ristorante about the July 16 all day all ages version of the Acoustic All-Stars Music Festival. Thursday work from home night, then Friday, we packed up the car for a long weekend and drove out to Lyndon to play at Naarah Black's house concert with her and Greg Downs. Her mom made these AMAZING cupcakes and treats. MMMMM Then directly after the show we drove to Logan to sleep and got there around 2am, and got up at 5am to drive to Bear Lake and play at a 5K benefit for cancer. Woke up early, and played in Bear Lake 7am , then drove strait to Cedar City to perform at Groovefest at 7:30 pm. We ended up playing for about 30 minutes where usually the side stage gets 2-3 songs. They had some problem with the power and kept asking us to play more. We only had 4 songs ready because I dont know our songs. (hence the book o' songs) So we had to pull 5 or so songs out of our asses and hope to God I dont forget it in front of thousands of people lol. We did it though. It was a great show. Apperently, after we left, a lady had heard us on the radio (as they boradcast Grovefest in Cedar City) to buy our CD and we had taken our Merch with us (dumb us lol)so she didn't get one. SOOOO cool though :) Sunday morning, after we took a few pictures with Steve, we were on our way home. This was so much fun and we thank you all for being a part of it.

Jaded

I have 2 blogs sitting....waiting to be published, and I find myself writing a new one.

Ty and I were coming back from Park City tonight after a really fun and inspiring talk with Mateo Coletti and Rachael Alvine and after talking about music here in Utah, it brought a conversation that I decided would actually be my next blog.

When we moved to Salt Lake, we were new. We wanted to meet people and perform with people and build this scene. It was like dating. When you put yourself out there, you're bound to get burned. As previously posted, there have been issues we have seen here in Utah.... I am sure they're the same everywhere.
When we started getting ready for this years Acoustic All-Stars, I started writing the contract and Ty put his 2 cents in. We found our old contract on my computer and started reading it. It was night and day. Last year, the contracts were more information, mission statement, and encouragement. This year....all business.
I guess somehow, I got Jaded. I started looking for all of the wrong people do and trying to prevent it instead of just being me, doing what I know needs to be done, and if someone shit on an opportunity, so be it....we would roll it off.
Now, we are always seeing the negative. I have realized recently that those arent the people we want to be. I have realized that we need to be better about being those people that are just trying to help and are genuinely concerned and into the beauty of building this Utah music scene we so strongly believe in. People are unreliable in every trade. Its not just musicians. We are right brainers, its hard to combine forces with a bunch of overly creative free thinkers, but it CAN be done.

My Blog will be short.
Dont let people bring you down. Now that I can see how jaded I have become, I want to apologize. If we have ever given you the impression that we were jerks, snubbers, or clichey, let me assure you....we arent. Please... ask us to collaborate, ask us for advice if we have anything of value to you. Let us open for you, let us be reliable, nice, and fun musicians. We will return the favor. We know we aren't better than you. We know that we are just people doing what we do the best we can.
Dont let the bad ruin the good cause there is SOOO much good about this crazy, bumpy ride that is musicianhood. :)

Please dont hate me...its just how I feel....

We, The Gulty Party.....

Not only will this make light some things, but it may also come across rude to some people. For that I apologize. I started writing a blog because I wanted to voice my oppinions on some things going on and tell cool stories of our experiences. As you read, keep in mind that my oppinion is neither fact, nor popular belief, but my opinion only. Remember that Ty and I are a fairly unknown band, who has yet to see any level of success beyond working on building a fan base and therfore, our view is slightly different from the next level of musicians, and even promoters, bookers, and arena performers. I say none of this to complain, but to say what I see and if you disagree, please comment politely as I will write this as politely as I know how.


I have only lived in Salt Lake for a few years. We started performing here about 3 years ago. I love it. Seriously, Yes, there is a group of people that everyone wants to be a part of that gets asked to play everything that I secretly long for, but acceptance is never THAT big a deal. I just say they haven’t heard us yet and we aren’t quite ready ;) But honestly. Salt Lake has a scene. Its big. There are shows I have no idea are even happening. BUT. We don’t have a large fan base yet, though its growing. Thats fine. This trip to heaven through music is the ride I love. People come out of nowhere here with these talents that make me want to kill myself. But, no one goes to their shows. And then, if they dont give up, sometimes, that changes. But many give up. Or take 2-3 year breaks. It can probably still happen for them, but I dont see how you can be full time trying to just get people to hear you because you want to share what you love to do, and feel oh so good doing, and then just stop. Things in life happen. Horrible things. Yes. I get that. I dont want anyone to think if they lost a family member or something that I would look down on stepping back. I also wouldnt expect you to judge me for playing as soon as I could because it releases my deamons and I personally would need that.
One of the most beautiful things about musicians is that we get up on stage and bear our souls. It is so fun to meet other musicians here and see these people that are SOOOO good. But, even the flowers need manure. There are also some bands that are ok and a few that are amazing that get ALL the bills. Sometimes I feel so jealous but then I realize that I need to look at this differently. Its survival of the fittest. If fans could all focus on 35 bands at a time with their undying love and money they would obviously be rich and have endless time and manpower to do so. Following a band is A LOT of work!!! So, we earn fans. They aren’t in stock at Wal-Mart and just because 25 people are in the audience doesn’t mean you now have 25 new fans. At best? 2 email listers.
And guess what. Facebook is on its way out because of musicians. Yep. I said it. Here is what we do. We are locusts on social media and open the doors to spammers and Phishers because we send out so much shit that does not apply to 99% of the people we send it to. We did it to Myspace, now we are doing it to Facebook. Ready? Here it is. The way to never get another 20 Billion Reply All Messages that all say stop hitting Reply All. Go to your friends lists, and make folders that you can name. Add people in certain areas to each corresponding name and then when you make invites, send them out to those groups which apply. Do you know I never look at my invites anymore and many other people dont either. Why? Because I have 10 invites to an event in Nashville that I have nothing to do with and its a band I have never heard of and I got an invite from all the band members as they all make their own events! WHAT!??!?! Wow.
Now, I really would love to hear from other musicians if this is the same for you in your city at our level.
There seems to be this thing where all the musicians (us included) ask everyone to come to our shows and then not go to other peoples. Feel my pain here. Last week:
Monday, work 8-5 5:30-7:45; Make dinner and eat, Ty usually some graphics stuff, me practicing or booking. 8:00-12 Salt City Indie Arts Sound-Off Competition. home. Sleep.
Tuesday work 8-5 work. After dinner about 6:30-1 am Final Acoustic All-Stars Picks and email send out. These werent forum letters people. We sent out all rejections (which I HATE having to do. It sucks!)personalized. We realized this year though that we need to call anyone we didnt accept for many reasons and for this we apologize. We owed you that and we appreciate everyone taking it so graciously. I know we are not Bonaroo or something but rejection is never easy. There was SO much talent it makes me sick. lol.
Wednesday 8-5 work, 7:30- 10:30 ish Jam with Brian Bingham and Whitney Blayne for a show we are woking on.
Thursday, 8-5 work, 7:00- 9 practice 9-1 graphics and contract work.
Friday 8-5 work, 5:30 shop for house concert liquor and such, 7:30 arrivals for house concert. show w Silver Glen ended about 12 partied till 2.
Saturday; 10:00 wake for Utah Musicians Breakfast Club, meet, breakfast from 11:15- 12:30, started blogging and Ty graphics. 9:00-1 show at GoodTimes Saloon in Layton.
This is a full time job. Anyone who puts their time into anything has a similar schedule with different inserts. So, literally, if we didnt work on the AAS we could go see shows on weekdays, but we play every weekend. Heres the delema. How am I supposed to be mad that you didnt show at my show, when I missed yours? I saw someone on Face Book post on this the other day. Its a good point. I am not sure why but we all seem to bark up the wrong tree. Ok, we need bigger paying shows to live off of music. Fact. But I am friends with mostly musicians which is cool for gig trading, but I know very few people outside of that and unwittingly seem to make little effort to do so. Shazaam. Guess what. “Hey guys I am playing friday night, come and bring your friends” “Oh sorry. I am playing Friday night and my friends with be with me.”
How do we combat this? Is there a way? Are there a neumerous amount of music players and a small group of music lovers? Thousands of bands are competing for thousands of the same exact fans on a weekly basis.
Harsh--->......Guess what. Thats our fault. Ty and I are not the answer here. I mean to stay far away from that presumption. We have very far to get anywhere near the point where we can make any dent anywhere from the performance side. That comes with time and we are new. There seems to be a pull to be an epic musical battle with lightening and forces of nature new to man between the band, and the solo chick who is just as bad ass, and the one man band guy who sounds just like a band anyway all playing the same night. I bet Nashville is a LOT like that.
I wonder sometimes if we help each other more, that would bring more to this large yet quiet scene without ruining what it is. I see a lot of people trying to do this, but they go about it the wrong way. No one wants to get 1000 emails in 20 minutes because you added them to yet another group. Ya. Groups are a great idea, but I hate when I get invited to a group because I have no option of denying said invite. I also believe that we dont share other people with our fans like we should and if we do they’re the same 5 people/bands. We are guilty of this. We tend to get burned and stick with those we feel we can rely on because so many unmotivated bands come and we want to support them and you set them up to play a big show with you and they text you 30 minutes prior saying they dont feel well. Who cares!? Or Someone bad mouths you for absolutely no reason, acomplishing very little, and just making you not trust them. I am sorry.You get,AT MOST, 2 chances with us. We skip strike 3. Having a band not show up, or show up late, or be ass holes, or play half their set, or complain and be rude at a show you booked reflects badly on you and is something you try to avoid at all cost, and sharing a stage and maybe $ isn’t something you try to do with people who try to make you look bad. (Tip: Generally, if you have a good relationship and you have made sure to have a good reputation overall, clubs will toss aside any shit talk they hear until you do something to them, so have a good reputation and jealous green monsters trying to hurt you wont get far.)
Another thing. If you make a comittment... you keep it! Would you just not show up to work? Probably not. I dont know, Maybe you would. There is a level of comittment that you look for with co performers etc to avoid shooting yourself in the foot. So. I am making it my personal goal to find more musicians we haven’t heard and bring them to play w us because someone has to make the first step to bring all these cool groups together. We will just make sure we dont get burned. I hear people complain all the time that this big group in Utah is a bunch of douches and ass holes but, like I said, Rejection isn’t easy and usually those stories go back to a story where they rejected the upset person in the past. I dont blame them. But there is a lot of complaining and very little of anyone trying to do anything about it. Including us.
Heres the harsh reality that I tell myself everyday. If you’re good, you’ll get where you want to go. Thats all. No excuse. If you’re not seeing a growing fan base after 3 years, try something else. Dont change you. But try something new. Friends like you cause you’re their friends. Fans like you cause they connect with you. If you fool them into thinking you play Reggae cause its cool and then you start playing Heavy Metal, they’re going to be pissed and feel betrayed. Stand up if you sit, learn a loop pedal, Get a drummer, get a sax guy, play lullabies under all your songs, who cares. But how is anyone supposed to want to go see the EXACT same show every weekend for 3 or 4 years. Change it up. Thats whats so cool!! Theres NO ONE telling you what to do with your music and if they are and you dont like it, get out. Who cares what they may do for your career. Do this because you love it not cause you want to be a rockstar....well, thats fine too lol but not cause you want to be a rich ass hole. It seems those people are weeded out and shunned in the future.
Also, we are not in High School. I hear so much from people about other people etc. Here are our general rules to live by. Being a musician takes a certain amount of politics. Good Guidelines:
1: If someone wrongs you, yes, when appropriate, you can warn someone before they do business with them but NOT because its just in converstation.
2: If you believe working with someone will hurt someone else, keep your mouth shut if you dont have proof. Its unfair to nail someone to the wall for one thing they did once. If its a habit and it continues to go on, fair warning is advised. But dont tell everyone someone is an asshole and you didnt like working with them cause they drank your Dr Pepper once out of your fridge. People listen to other people about who to work with and that one person thinking they’re an ass probably will warn others.
3: And, if you are going to warn someone about a maybe issue dont be a jerk. I have seen a few people hurt by innocent passer by comments and suddenly people want to get away from them. Maybe its their fault and people should back away, but intent is 90% of the importance. If someone’s intent is to help you and you dont like how they’re doing it tell them what you want and if it doesn’t work, stop working with them.
We should all be able to take those instances as adults. I can’t believe how much shit talk I over hear. And whats funny is that its usually personal and has nothing to do with talent etc.
In my particular group, we support each other as much as we can and we have built a mutual respect and trust and if someone says stay away, I listen. A musician I trust has a word like the bible to me.
So, maybe we shouldn’t be talking about a better scene, maybe we need to talk about a better comittment to the scene. If you like something, you want it. No matter what you believe or normally do. If you hate iPhones, you may not want IT but you want something like it cause its super sweet. If someone hears a band like us, and goes “eh they’re ok”, and then they hear a band in the same style and sounds etc etc but they’re way better, guess what. They arent going to come crawling back to you. Do it your best every time and try to get better every time you perform. You cant lay stagnet foaming at the mouth and singing the same line over and over again and continue to do that over and over again, it doesn’t matter how good you are, you cant stay the exact same forever. Why do you think people like Madonna are so big?. People fall in love with a band as they grow with them and they watch them get hits. Bands are like our secret friends and when you see them on TV and hear them on Movies, you get excited because you ‘know’ them. Dont be so scared to grow and if you are going to do this for a year or the rest of your life, do it right. Keep your word. Show up.ON TIME. Besides, if clubs, bars, and Restaurants etc trust that all of this will be handled when you play they’re more likely open to having music at their places therfore opening up more performance venues. Work on getting better no matter how good you are. There is no such thing as stunted growth for a skill in my opinion. If you care enough, you will work harder and get better or come up with some harebrained skill that will get you rich overnight and retire lol. We need to support each other. I know its hard. I know it takes time, but I see a lot of bands who are stuck and SO good!!!!!

At ASCAP I heard
{“There is no Magical formula that will make you famous. There are steps you must take and if you skip one of those steps if will come back and shit you out”} -Matt Nathanson
Forget the fame. Enjoy the ride. Learn how to pay the bills and taxes on that alone if thats your dream.
OH! Dont let anyone tell you you suck so give up. I dont believe thats healthy. I have heard people originally that were horrrrible get better and we see them again and go SHIT YA! Stop telling people to quit. Be inspired by the desire. If they are jerks and suck and have no dream theyll drop out anyway and you need not make yourself look bad in their honor. I have actually seen people say these things to other people and its completely imature, mean spirited, and innapropriate. What kind of person is comfortable with telling someone to quit. Terrible!
There is so much around here that can build. Share your ideas. Be willing to let someone else carry them out if you can’t. It benefits us all! Dont be so damn selfish. “Well, I came up with it but I never told anyone and now, here, 20 years later, someone got to it and its amazing! Yay me!”lol
If Utah knew you existed and heard your music, you would see them come to your shows. Lets find a way to get all of us comitted, driven. and talented musicians out into the state and then grow. We should be nourishing the talent that is here, not putting it down, and helping them learn how to be self sufficient not stealing money from them by booking and taking more than your fair share and not telling them you’re doing that. Ex: Kyle made 200$ from the show he booked Geena. Geena recieved 30$ the the entire night and she was the only act and Kyle ONLY booked the show. People do it. Its terrible.
Dont be scared. Well.....be scared. Its scary. Let it drive you. Stop the negativity and realize that if you can bite your tongue and hold back the personal shit, those people will return the favor. Imagine a Utah where we give credit to the good and just sit down and listen for a second. Do it because its fun and we will get to be a part of this movement that can make Utah and great place for music.
If you are booking a club, Please let me give you some advice not just from us, but from other people. If we contact you to book, please get back to us as soon as you can and dont make us track you down. If you are avoiding bookng a band, tell them they dont fit and they wont bug you. If your only excuse for not booking a band is that you think the trumpet player’s hair is too long, get over it. Shit. If they show and up perform and are reliable and talented, and their hair is your only issue, get over it.Your job isn’t hooking up your friends. For the good of the venue you work for, your job is to bring in good music that people will come back for more because of it. If we ask to play and we arent that, honestly, let me know. We will work harder and contact you when we are better.
Bands. Dont call the booking person every hour all day and into the night. Dont call them after 9 unless they instruct you to do so. Most of them have day jobs. Email; yes. Follow up if no response; yes. POSSSSIBLY again follow up but stop after that. Do this in increments not one day. If you play with other people you dont know, for shit sakes, introduce yourself or at least be friendly to the other bands. You dont have to take shots all night together but honestly, where are your damn manners? OMG lol. No stories but sometimes people are jerks lol.
Guess what. You CAN make the big bucks and be a total dick band. Good luck with that.
Lets just try a tiny bit just a little to support our fellow musicians even if we dont know them. If they dont return the favor, fine. You never know why. But keep going if it sounds fun and maybe introduce yourself if you get the chance. Get off your ass. Go drink or dont, but next time there is a band near you, please, applaud at least once.
Thats my rant. MAN there is more but thats all I can say now lol.
I challenge you to re read this and think about it. Nothing I brought up was a person I know or heard of. They’re examples of what I see around me. Make good music guys. Thats all. Good to you is going to be good to someone else.

ASCAP 2011 and Ass Punching Buzz Lightyear

Last Tuesday was the longest day ever. We were getting ready to drive our new road trip car to Los Angeles for the ASCAP Expo, a 3 day music conference put on by The American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (ASCAP) which is a membership association of more than 400,000 U.S. composers, songwriters, lyricists, and music publishers of every kind of music. (ASCAP protects the rights of its members by licensing and distributing royalties for the non-dramatic public performances of their copyrighted works.)
We went to this last year, but it was our virgin attendance and we were so overwhelmed we missed out on a lot. This year, we knew exactly what we wanted out of it and took it by the tail.
We left Wednesday morning and drove strait through on I15 getting there and going to bed. We got up early Thursday morning and headed over the The Hollywood Rennaissance Hotel where the event was held which is attached to a super cool outdoor mall with several levels and arranged with a courtyard area and fountain in the middle and the shops working their way around. It was right on the walk of fame and attached to the Grauman Chinese Theater.


There are restaurants, shops, theaters, and bars as well as a few bridges going across to let you look across to the Hollywood sign, and the street where the stars are marking the walk of fame. It really is a cool sight.
We attended only 2 classes the first day because we met so many people and got to hang with Coop talking about our plans etc. where we found out one of our friends Shelly Riff (http://shellyriff.com/home.cfm) has been fortunate to get some placement deals (its the way to go kids to get music on TV, Movies, etc). It was exciting to hear that a good person like him has Kharma smiling on him! We met a cool guy through Shelly named Tim who invented a cool ball that doesn't deflate for kids in third world conntries who is organizing a large concert for this ball with U2 and with Sting backing the product. I though it was such a beautifully selfless cause. He was a very nice man and I honestly dont believe he is full of shit like many people with claims such as those. We saw the ball too. Its pretty damn cool!
Friday we woke up to a 70$ ticket on the car because I guess you can't park on one side of the street on Fridays because of the street sweepers. We are contesting it with no real hope of winning lol. Good start to the day lol. We attended more classes including the "Road Warriors" Class about touring which I will talk about later. Saturday was more of the same and then a night of fun....which I will also talk about later..
There are classes at this thing taught by many behind the scenes big wigs, stars, and not so stars but they ALL know their shit. There are thousands of musicians, writers, managers etc there and all sorts of booths with stuff to help you in your craft. There are also crazy people singing in the hallways and stairs as well as when they are given the opportunity to ask questions, some stand up and sing because they think it will get them discovered. Now, this is frustrating at times but really more entertaining.
But then, there are talented people who take opportunities correctly and get to perform for guitar sponsors and camera men like Valerie Mize. She was a nice girl with a great voice and catchy songs who humbly asked to play his guitar and because she wasn't a crazy person he said yes. She was beautiful and very nice.


We met some very nice people. A few from last year, a few from this year. We found that Twitter is the best for that. (tip: If you are attending something with a "Hashtag" (if you dont know what that is, you need to start from scratch and thats perfectly fine) find that tag and follow other people using it. You gain followers with the same interests, and they you and get the chance to set up face to face meeting with them as opposed to random followers in different places than you) We met 4 people face to face this year due soley to Twitter including Brandon Liss (http://www.brandonliss.com twitter= brandonliss) Ruby Castillo (http://www.youtube.com/user/MlSSRuBy twitter= MISSRuBy) Brian Franke (http://www.brianfranke.com twitter= bfrankemusic) & Antwoinne (http://www.penmeetspad.com twitter= antwoinne). Each of these people are awesome and very talented! Not only that, but they really made this experience so much better in their ways.


Melody, Brian, Mike

Ty, Brian, Mike

There were classes on everything from songwriting, publishing, composing, social media (twitter Cyberpr for a great person to listen to on Social Media), even a class on touring with someone I looked up to before, Matt Nathanson (his song "Come on Get Higher" was a big hit not too long ago and his other songs are awesome http://www.mattnathanson.com). I liked him before but he has a truckers mouth and I LOVED that lol. Now I am a forever fan. He made the biggest impact on me because he wasn't about bull shit. Mainly he was just flat out honest. He basically said what everyone needs to hear including me...You can't skip steps. There is no magic equasion or solution to the music business and breaking in. You have to work your way up just like anything else, it just takes longer. If you skip those steps they're going to shit you right out. I also got to meet Jonatha Brooke (http://www.jonathabrooke.com) who is a fantastic singer/songwriter and so beautiful in person!!!
Ty's favorite class was an interview with Bernie Worrell by Will Calhoon followed by some cool jammin. Ty really loved this class as he looks up to Bernie.


You can't see this but Bernie has a plate of food he was trying to sneak to his room to eat but I cut it off lol. Aaah stars...
Sara Bereilles came and interviewed Lindsay Buchingham from Fleetwood Mac. He seemed so down to earth and cool. But....I am betting that guy partied the shit out of his rockstar years! I was surprised that this talented songwriter said he hated it and liked performing and producing much better. He also said he liked bands today like Arcade Fire, Phoenix, Vampire Weekend, and Dirty Projectors.

SHIT it was beautiful there too. I didnt want to leave I swear. I heard it snowed back here in Utah while we were gone. Sorry bout that SUCKAS!
Another of my favorite things about LA are some of the little quirks.


(right) This was a crazy manaquen in a costume shop...fucking wierd!!!; (left)I posted this one day with "I wonder the nutritional value of Love"
Saturday we finished classes and found that the place we did dinner last year was closed down. That place was BADASS! We were pretty dissappointed so we went to The Hardrock Cafe with Coop, Brandon, Brian, Mike, Brandon. Amy, Shelly, Brandolyn, and of course Ty and I and ate and drank a bunch lol. During this time, Ty and I went to smoke with Brandon and some street performers came and talked to us. Then a bum they knew joined in. He suddenly looked at me, asked me to hold his stuff, (which consisted of a partially consumed Sierra Mist, and what looked like a cat bowl with money in it) which was more handed to me than asked so I did. Now, in case you dont know this..... The walk of fame is a place where people are dressed up like almost any character and actor you can think of. Some are in full suits, some are in clothes with wigs and make up. One we saw on Friday looked like RuPaul and then he/she walked into the makeup shop next to us and started working behind the counter. We were really glad we didnt ask for a picture lol. Seriously...looked just like RuPaul. Sooo...the bum hands me his shit, and walks over to a very plush Buzz Lightyear character and ass punches him!!! No. Seriously!!! So Plush Buzz, walks up and gets all up in the bums face and they do the I'm in your face' dance for a bit and the Buzz walks away. The bum gets his stuff from me and walks back over to give the stink eye to Plushy Lightyear and they do the dance again as you can see part of in this epic youtube film but Tyler Forsberg lol...( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjcTm4rvre4 )
It was nutso. WHO ASS PUNCHES BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!??
We drank our fill, continued on the night to getting kicked out of Brian's room because we were jamming too loud, walking back to our room a few blocks away which was sad because there were all these people waiting in line wearing extrememly nice clothes to dance in a club and not more than 15 feet away were 2 people sleeping in a doorway. It made me realize that someday when we have money, my foundaton will be for the homeless in our country. There are far too many and no one should have to sleep in a doorway while people ignore you and go dancing. Its wrong people. Its wrong.
We made it back to our room and the drunkness took over. I vaguely remember Ty ordering a pizza which I literally woke up to eat and passed back out.
We left early Sunday morning and drove home in a daze. I didnt want to leave. I wanted to come home, get our guitars, and start our travels. Anyone who says ASCAP expo is a waste of time doesn't understand how inspiring it is to be in that atmosphere.
This weekend made me want to roll up our foam mattress, sell our shit, and just drive and book, drive and book. I realized that I want to be a musician yes. But I want to travel and meet new people. I want to see the strange, sad, messed up, and exciting. I want to be cold, hot, and comfortable all in the same day. I want to sit down in a place I have never been and play what ever I think people will like as long as I am feeling it. I want to get up early, nap in my car, and perform late. I want to do something so uncomfortable and so out of the norm that we can't help but feel like that is where we are supposed to be and all the people we meet along the way will make the road our home.

To all you haters out there.....

We play A LOT. I mean.... A LOT. I dont mean a bunch, or quite often. We play a LOOOOTTTTTT!
This year alone, we have already played 24 shows not including Radio performances, Open Mics, and the Music SLAMs. There have been 15 weekends this year so far. That means we have played almost 2 times a week every week all year on average as of now. From today, we have 25 shows through September booked with 99% of those confirmed. That means, if we don't book another show through our farthest booked show, we would play 1 show a weekend every weekend until our last booked show in September. Many pay. Many don't. Many feed us. Many give us a tip jar which we then bang our monkey symbols for customers until they drop a dollar or 2 in. Some don't even give us that.
Because of this constant performance schedule, we are busy bees. Sometimes we get a lot of shit for playing free shows, coffee shops, and pizza gigs. I'll tell you shit talkers what..... YOU try playing for 4 hours for free or tips and see how easy it is and then tell me if you learn something every time you do it. Even better, shit talkers.....in Lamans terms.....try going to school with out rich parents where you have to work part time at a coffee shop for minimum wage until you get your masters degree in what ever the hell you're going for. Tell me if its worth the abuse you take at your local Starbucks to earn a living while you work your way to your dream job and dream income. Now. Lets compare class. We are working our 8-5 jobs now to pay the bills and yes, playing at coffee shops and pizza joints so we can get the knowledge and experience we need to earn our version of a masters degree in performing and singing and playing instruments.
You can't just show up at Trump Towers and walk into the Donald's office and get a job with no experience and no knowledge of your trade can you? No. Well, we sure as shit can't show up at the 'E Center' AKA The Maverik Center with guitars in hand and expect to open for fucking U2 without some background and experience can we? Nope. SO to the girl who made the Chuck-E-Cheese comment the other day....What do you do when you get home at night? Do you study? Do you learn about what you're dreaming of being? What do you do on the weekend? Do you go out and work when everyone else is partying around you because you know that you have to and luckily enjoy it at the same time? Do you get to create things that people enjoy and build a business from it? I surely hope so honey. Cause we live a charmed lucky happy life with little drama, and little to worry about except what's next. We are so fortunate to have friends and family who support us, buy our CDs and t shirts. We have such a great support group that, even though this blog may sound mad, its not. I feel bad for anyone who sees us as losers, dreamers, time wasters, idots, or anything else that you can think of. We do what most people dare never dream. We get to listen to some of the most influencial people in music at conferences and strive to be like them.
Being a musician isn't enough. We are entertainers and it is a lot of fucking HARD, exausting, work that involves savy, skills, talent, business knowledge, and guts. This isnt a matter of sucks or doesn't suck. Its not a matter of talent or no talent even. Some of the most talented people I have ever met were quitters and some of the worst musicians and actors I have ever seen were gutsy rockstars. Its all a matter of never giving up.
Somestimes the haters can get us all down what ever our dreams. We all need to remember that they're haters because they dont have the balls to do what you are doing and they stopped believing in dreams long long ago. I refuse to work for someone else for the rest of my life wishing I was doing something I loved. Of course there will be days when we are touring that I wish I was sitting back at my desk answering phones because that was easier. But I would never forgive myself if I look back one day and wish I would have done more.
When all is said and done, there are moments in this life that make it all worth it and you realize that you are on the right track. We will sometimes play several shows that are good but they're average shows where people enjoyed it, tiped, bought merch, and it was an overall good experience. (We have been lucky enough to have less than a handful of 'bad' shows) Then, we perform somewhere where the planets aligh, the stars shine brighter, and all is right with the world. This past weekend was that times 1000000. We performed in Idaho Falls last Saturday to a crowd of people that were more than any performer could dream. They were attentive, excited, interested, and just made the night something extra special. We all laughed together, sang together, clapped together, and had a relationship during our short 2.5 hour set that we had never had before. It was so fulfilling to have this experience. This group of people became our biggest fans and best friends. They were talking to us and interacting in a way I haven't even seen. They filled our email list, bought CDs, TShirts, and asked for autographs as well as took business cards to have us come play at their private functions. There were a few self asteem building moments where we could hear them talking to eachother about how much they were enjoying us, and a few beautiful times where we started a cover song knowing they would love it and we got applause as soon as they recognized what we were about to perform. I have never seen a crown interact and add to a performance like this except in big named bands DVDs of big shows they played. I couldnt believe how it felt to be held up by them like that.
We left that night with heads held high, but not too high, and feeling a sense of accomplishment knowing that we are on the right track and that we CAN do what we dream. Shows like that happen so seldom, and we were so fortunate to experience it. We will never forget that group of people and how they made us feel. You all took us from musicians to performers in one fail swoop and that debt can never be properly repaid except if we keep going and working and never give up.
So. To all you haters out there (who probably dont read this cause you hate), You go on home and drink your beer alone and be all sad cause some girl bought those shoes before you. We will be here. Being something more. Working toward something bigger than us because we just love it so much and never giving up. But mostly, we will be dreaming and believing in those dreams enough to chase them. Hate it all you want. We love it.

Our Dirty Laundry All Aired Out

First off, I want to say we are by no means perfect. Any professional of any trade who thinks they are, are sorely mistaken and are setting themselves up for a very rude awakening. Never have we claimed to be perfect.
Sometimes, it seems, the universe likes to give you the great, and then pull the rug out from under you. This is the universes way of seeing if you will be able to keep on your feet. We have known many musicians who fall when this happens and they are unable to get themselves back up. It is a tragedy, but for some, it is for the best.
Before you put your heart and soul into anything you should know a few things. 1: Is this what I truly want and for what reasons? 2: Can I work toward this if it takes all my life? And most importantly 3: Can I handle all the bull shit that is inevitably going to come my way from every direction possible when I am least expecting it.
If you want to be a musician, you unfortunately have to deal with the following on any given night at least once in your career and if you tell me at least 90% of these have never happened, they will or you’re a liar lol:
Cancelled shows, shows where you play to only the bartender (99.99999% of this happens when starting out but every once in a while you have a fluke show or last minute at an unknown venue), People texting during your set, people talking during your set, people laughing at something other than you and in some cases at you during your set, unprofessional musicians, unprofessional booking managers, unprofessional venues, free shows, paid shows, paid shows where the pay becomes an issue, agents who don’t come through, agents who come thorough with things you didn’t expect, agents with little or no skill, agents with lots of skill and bad luck, agents with great luck, bad sound, bad sound men, broken equipment such as bad cords, bad mics, etc, stinky mics, ill suited venues for your style, misunderstandings, missed shows for one reason or another, bad shows for one reason or another, missing gear, missing picks, missing songs, tough crowds, drunk crowds, obnoxious fans, no fans, great fans, head colds, sore throats, sore fingers, missed chords, missed verses, nay sayers, getting sex eyes from someone, getting sex eyes from someone you do NOT want them from, loud cheerers, no cheers, no applause, ‘free bird!’, ‘Skynrd!’, Crazy people, Cool people, new connections, LESS connections, clash of personalities, bad pictures, no pictures, bad video, no video, long drives, running out of gas, car breaking down, no place to sleep, bad moods, fights between fans, fights between people you don’t know, the need to put your foot down with a venue or a booking agent, firing people, hiring people, missed opportunities, being left out, being forgotten momentarily, being referred, being denied, being dissed, being complimented, being new, being hit on, being neglected, feeling like a #........ Need I go on?
Many of these have happened to us at one time or another in the 3 years we have been playing together and to me in the 2 years before that I played on my own. I’m sure Ty has a few things to add to this list lol. I’m not trying to be discouraging. I’m trying to tell you that these things happen.
So what do we do about them????? We are professional no matter what! We shrug off the bad, and look toward the good and we understand that in ANY venture, bad things happen and good things happen and good can not be constant. It’s the way of the world. But, if we train ourselves to rise above the immaturity and the high school attitudes we sometimes come across we are the better for it. No one can stop you if you are talented and act like a human being. You have a right to stand up for yourself, but no one has a right to act like an ass hole, think they are a God, to walk all over you, or to slam your good name if in fact you have one. On the same note, no one has the power to ‘ruin you’ unless you let them. If you are doing the right things, any slamming that may come from someone’s ego will be dismissed because you have already set a foundation that no one but you can destroy. On the same token, you shouldn’t do it to them either.
The point to today’s blog? Some days suck. Some days you will want to give up even if for a split second. Some days, you will hate everything. But there is one constant. Karma is a bitch. Lol.

Only YOU can affect you.

Ok. In all honesty, I have realized something this week that I had never truly grasped before. Only I can be mad at ME if something doesn't go the way I want it to. No one else. Ever.
We have been working on a lot lately and I have been frustrated with many things in my life and I started looking at other people who may be to blame. I realized that I am to blame. I can not make someone else do something. I can not make someone else feel something. I can not make someone else read my mind, be somewhere, say something, or even see something through my eyes. I CAN pay attention to what I see and want and feel and be me and follow those things through to the best of my ability. If anyone or anything ever stops me, it will be me and only me.
I want to say, there are no particular people who are being refered to here. Its a joint effort from everyone starting with me and going to people who have nothing to do with out music. I have been letting everyone affect my attitude.
If you want to be successful, you do everything you can and never blame. If we don't do something right, it could be my fault just as easily as it can be Ty's or anyone else's but if I take responsibility for my actions and be all I can be (not in the army) I have no one to blame.
I just want to encourage everyone to look at what YOU are personally doing and what you could do to make those things more valuable and decide....is it worth looking for other people's problems, or fix your own?
We all want something in our lives and placing blame is the easiest thing in the world. I cant pay my bills cause the cop pulled me over and now I have to pay for that. Well, dont get pulled over. I can't go on this trip because I have too high a credit card limit. Well, pay off your CC. (again, no one in particular. these are all just examples) I cant be a famous singer because my songs aren't good enough and my voice isn't well trained. Well, take songwriting classes and vocal lessons.
There is always something YOU can do to accomplish your goals and if you only look to yourself for success, the things or people who are not condusive to your success will weed themselves out naturally. :)
Here are a few inspirational quotes to help you all out :)

Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally.
David Frost

I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it.
Jonathan Winters

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Bill Cosby

If you want to achieve things in life, you've just got to do them, and if you're talented and smart, you'll succeed.
Juliana Hatfield

Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game one foot from a winning touchdown.
Ross Perot

One secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes.
Benjamin Disraeli

Success is blocked by concentrating on it and planning for it... Success is shy - it won't come out while you're watching.
Tennessee Williams

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.
Dale Carnegie

Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time.
Arnold H. Glasow

Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.
William Feather

What is success? I think it is a mixture of having a flair for the thing that you are doing; knowing that it is not enough, that you have got to have hard work and a certain sense of purpose.
Margaret Thatcher


Success comes from a heavy focus on what you want, proving wrong the nay sayers, listening to the idealists, genuinely caring about the contacts you make, having a basic back up plan at all times, and lots and lots and LOTS of luck.
Melody

Emotional Constipation Put to Good Use

I am anti-emotion.
I don't like touchy feely conversations.
Getting close to anyone is very hard.
But.
When I love I love with everything I have, and I fall with everything I have, and I hurt with everything I have when the time comes. But I hate to cry. I'd rather throw up than cry, and I'd rather be stabbed in the face than throw up. So, If you look at it, I'd rather get stabbed in the face, then throw up before I cry lol. I dont know where it came from, but I never liked it. I always felt like every time I cry, people chalk it up to being a girl or on my period, which leads right back to being a girl. I hate that. So, when I do cry, its alone, quietly, unless its something horrible and then its all over.
I don't deny the therapy of crying. It's such a release that I'd compare it to orgasm when you get it all out. But, then, you're left with a headache, red dry eyes, make up everywhere, spit all over your hands, dirty kleenex's all over your bed, and a messed up pillow case. That last part sounded dirty lol.
I used to cry a LOT. As a kid, I'd fly off the handle and let out the waterworks anytime I was remotely provoked....and other times when I wasn't. I remember a time my brother came to visit. He ordered Pizza and ordered something I didn't want. I cried so hard. I never forgot how embarrassed I was to act that way but I didn't know how to control it. Until I started to write music.
I feel these songs so deeply. As deeply as a mother probably feels love for her child. When I write, something comes from me that can't be released any other way. Its like a new song has sucked the venom from me and I can live again.
Im sure its hard on Ty because I get so impulsive because of it, and most girls seem to wear their heart on their sleeve. He didn't see me really cry until a few months ago when my dad had a health scare. But then, he also doesn't have a girlfriend whining about stupid shit all the time lol.
I heard Sara McLaughlin one day and knew how to clean up my heart. Her voice tells me that her pain is safely stored away in those songs. I realized I could store my feelings in songs too. I started first by learning her songs and storing them there. Then I started writing. The first few songs did nothing. Merely paper with notes and words. Soon I wouldn't have to whine about failed relationships anymore once I wrote that safe keeping song. What ever the pain, happiness, or anything else, if I capture it with a song, I'm lighter.
This past year has been rough on my songwriting because I have had to learn to draw from other things to build a new repetoir of upbeat bar friendly music (because bars are the ones who pay). I went so long in serial relationships to write the happy, confused, sad story of a love. I learned how to fall fast because I knew that those extremes would be my sweet spot. Now, I write differently. It's exciting actually.
Part of me always wanted to be in a band. I want to be that bad ass rocker chick with tattoos and pierings wailing on a bass guitar with a killer drum beat behind me and I'm singing the shit out of a song. Helllllll Ya!
But I also feel this need to write to my roots. To stick with that hearbreakingly soft music with that ache that everyone feels pouring out through me. Then this horrifyingly poppy song is born and I'm thinking WHAT THE HELL! lol
But, in recent months, I am seeing something new take form. A rhythm backbone with a catchy tune, and Ty's lead guitar but still using those lyrics telling my exes etc that they REALLY messed up and we both know it lol. Or telling Ty things I couldn't ever sit down and explain.
Yes. Music is therapy. Its the way to tell everyone in the world your secrets with out being 'that person'. Its what makes me feel happy, sexy, alive, and loved. Who doesn't want that? But most of all, Its cleaner, better, and less invasive than a REALLY good cry. No matter your musical level, you should write a song. Exes are my fave cause you can pretty much mame them with words and you're not a bitch lol.