Emotional Constipation Put to Good Use

I am anti-emotion.
I don't like touchy feely conversations.
Getting close to anyone is very hard.
But.
When I love I love with everything I have, and I fall with everything I have, and I hurt with everything I have when the time comes. But I hate to cry. I'd rather throw up than cry, and I'd rather be stabbed in the face than throw up. So, If you look at it, I'd rather get stabbed in the face, then throw up before I cry lol. I dont know where it came from, but I never liked it. I always felt like every time I cry, people chalk it up to being a girl or on my period, which leads right back to being a girl. I hate that. So, when I do cry, its alone, quietly, unless its something horrible and then its all over.
I don't deny the therapy of crying. It's such a release that I'd compare it to orgasm when you get it all out. But, then, you're left with a headache, red dry eyes, make up everywhere, spit all over your hands, dirty kleenex's all over your bed, and a messed up pillow case. That last part sounded dirty lol.
I used to cry a LOT. As a kid, I'd fly off the handle and let out the waterworks anytime I was remotely provoked....and other times when I wasn't. I remember a time my brother came to visit. He ordered Pizza and ordered something I didn't want. I cried so hard. I never forgot how embarrassed I was to act that way but I didn't know how to control it. Until I started to write music.
I feel these songs so deeply. As deeply as a mother probably feels love for her child. When I write, something comes from me that can't be released any other way. Its like a new song has sucked the venom from me and I can live again.
Im sure its hard on Ty because I get so impulsive because of it, and most girls seem to wear their heart on their sleeve. He didn't see me really cry until a few months ago when my dad had a health scare. But then, he also doesn't have a girlfriend whining about stupid shit all the time lol.
I heard Sara McLaughlin one day and knew how to clean up my heart. Her voice tells me that her pain is safely stored away in those songs. I realized I could store my feelings in songs too. I started first by learning her songs and storing them there. Then I started writing. The first few songs did nothing. Merely paper with notes and words. Soon I wouldn't have to whine about failed relationships anymore once I wrote that safe keeping song. What ever the pain, happiness, or anything else, if I capture it with a song, I'm lighter.
This past year has been rough on my songwriting because I have had to learn to draw from other things to build a new repetoir of upbeat bar friendly music (because bars are the ones who pay). I went so long in serial relationships to write the happy, confused, sad story of a love. I learned how to fall fast because I knew that those extremes would be my sweet spot. Now, I write differently. It's exciting actually.
Part of me always wanted to be in a band. I want to be that bad ass rocker chick with tattoos and pierings wailing on a bass guitar with a killer drum beat behind me and I'm singing the shit out of a song. Helllllll Ya!
But I also feel this need to write to my roots. To stick with that hearbreakingly soft music with that ache that everyone feels pouring out through me. Then this horrifyingly poppy song is born and I'm thinking WHAT THE HELL! lol
But, in recent months, I am seeing something new take form. A rhythm backbone with a catchy tune, and Ty's lead guitar but still using those lyrics telling my exes etc that they REALLY messed up and we both know it lol. Or telling Ty things I couldn't ever sit down and explain.
Yes. Music is therapy. Its the way to tell everyone in the world your secrets with out being 'that person'. Its what makes me feel happy, sexy, alive, and loved. Who doesn't want that? But most of all, Its cleaner, better, and less invasive than a REALLY good cry. No matter your musical level, you should write a song. Exes are my fave cause you can pretty much mame them with words and you're not a bitch lol.

You Can't HANDLE The Truth!

Sometimes, I listen to the radio at work and hear the worst shit excuses for music and I want to SCREAM! Who's with me here! I mean, COME ON!! "My Black and Yella" talking about how rich Im gonna be and everyones gonna think I'm 'Fly' and I'm gonna cruise around in my sexy diamond crusted car. WHAT?! I'm Sorry.... wait... or, "There's a place downtown where the freaks all hang around, its a hole in the wall its a dirty free for all.." Wait... and people are going there? What is it an orgy party? Are you singing a song about an orgy party? and little kids are singing this? They TOTALLY do! "Apple Bottom Jeans. Boots with the Fur." Since when did we need fur on our boots? So I shave my legs cause hair is gross, and then put on fur boots cause they're hott?! lol
I can appreciate the value of all styles of music. I am not a huge fan of a ton of Rap, but I definately know I couldn't spit that shit out at the drop of a hat like some of these guys. And the beats are fantastic when they're not stolen lol. Now..... Katy Perry? Who the hell is she and why is she wearing blue hair? Why do I care about her wedding in India to an English guy? Is this the music business now? Is this what you have to be? Katy Perry, Ke$ha (or Ke-dollarsign-ha as I like to say), Justin Beiber, T.I....that's Not a NAME! Why do I suddenly feel like I have to loose 50lbs, draw something obscure on my face, and dance around in tights? Does anyone care about music anymore?!
Or. Has it always been this way but with lesser means and I've just glamorized it all my life. There are so many good songs out there but so few REALLY stand the test of time. THAT is a true musician. These other shit eaters are just cashing a paycheck. Im sorry. I know a LOT of people love it and again, I can appreciate the value of parts of them, (More to keep myself from going nutso on some dumb bimbo singing something about her wearing shorts and a bikini on top) but I doubt that someday someone will say "Oh MAN! 'Unchained Melody', 'The Wall','Thriller', Crazy', and 'Teenage Dream' are some of the best songs ever!"
I want to go on the record here. I have loved music all my life. I have never been known for being a 'sexy woman', a 'crazy peformer', a 'pyrotechnic Extravaganza artist' but when I hit that high note, people turn. I have no need for this skimpy clothing to cause a wave, paint my face, act all wierd, shoot my boyfriend's ear off, get caught with a heroine needle in my arm, oops I failed another drug test attention whoring. If thats what it takes to be a musician, something has gone horribly awry. I know there are far more talented people than me out there, but I know we have the balls to go after this. We have been rejected for shows before, we have been declined from booking even. This means nothing. I picked up my guitar tonight after a stint away due to being sick and I felt that spark and I knew again. We are good. We get better all the time and we are different. We also have a long way to go. Everytime I want to be all BOO HOO, I think, 'Just because the bullshit is all packed in pretty packages and sold through the devil on MTV, doesn't mean we can't be something real. When I met Ty I told him, 'I will do this with or without you' and he said 'Ok. I'm in' It like was our verbal contract. :)
So, Next time you see us on stage, It will be the best show we have ever done. And then the NEXT time you see us again, It will be the best show we've ever done. And THEN, the NEXT time you see us, it will be THE BEST SHOW, we've EVER done, and so on. My point. Whether you like us or not. Whether we are your 'style of music' or not, whether I wear hot pants and Ty has an open fronted leotard or not, we are true musicians and damn proud of it. Someday, when we are touring and playing full time, we will build lasting relationships with the people we meet. We will have staying power because no matter how cool or sexy you are to a 13 year old for sliding around on the floor covered in naked men, she has nothing in common with you and she will remember people who were real to her. I've never heard anyone say anything like 'I STILL idolize Suzy Pepper, that CRAZY acrobatic singer from the 60's' (this is a made up person) Its the classics. The people who either sold their soul and made it work for them, or remained human....ish. Or died young and tragically. I'd prefer not the latter. ANYWHO.
I just wanted to tell you all how I feel about the music business. If I play my guitar and sing, then those who want to hear it will find me if I haven't found them first. But you have to keep playing no matter what cause the #1 cause of failure is giving up.

Finding Inspiration in a 9-5 World.

I feel very fortunte to have a job that I quite like. I work with super cool people in an environment far less frustrating and stressful than most. Don't get me wrong. We are super busy, but its not like the jobs I have had before. ANYWAY>
I feel music. I bleed it. My death will sound like a brilliant symphony if you know how to listen. I love music above anything else. (No offense Ty lol jk)
I wonder if musicians read this, and are trying to reach a point where they can just quit their jobs and be musicains full time. (I sure hope so) The thing is... Sometimes I have to remember that success never comes easily. Sometimes, I have to tell myself that it CAN be done.
This is when I look for more inspiration. Its like I have to conciously keep myself from being brainwashed of my former musical life and work the 9-5. Never gonna happen!
Here are the things I have to do to keep in touch with my dream.

*Listen consciously to music. I am a lyric person. I TOTALLY can't get over a real lyrical masterpiece. (What do you notice? Bass? Harmonies? Drums? What REALLT sets you off?)
*I teach myself the melodes and lyrics of random songs and find the pieces of the song that I am most moved by. I remember these. I sort of photograph them in my mind and then find a way to work something like it into a song. Somestimes I can, sometimes I can't.
*I watch for what everyone else is doing on Facebook, reverbnation, etc as often as I can. I like to see were everyone else is going because it creates drive.
*I like to see who people are performing with. Have I heard of them? Its alwasy fun to meet new musicians/friends.
*Listen to the Radio. You can listen to your CDs, iPod, etc, but when you listen to the radio, songs you wouldn't necessarily choose come on. It forces you to open your ears to something new. Anything new can be inpsiring.
*Write lyrics in a notepad on your desktop or with a pen and paper when they come to you. I don't mean songs. You could get in trouble for the time you'd put into that, unless you write songs fast or you are just in it and it just flows. Sometimes, you'll write something and never use it. Sometimes you'll write your favorite songs.
*Never let anyone make you feel bad for your dream. My last job had a few supportive co-workers, but there were definately a few that asked 'How our little thing was' in a very 'Im laughing at you on the inside' sort of way. NEVER LET THOSE PEOPLE GET TO YOU! Ever! Those are the people who have no dreams of their own and do not understand these things we call "Dreams". YOU should feel bad for THEM! lol (This all sounds so mean! It's just my view)
*Write what you feel. Forget if it sounds like the last song you wrote. Forget if the lyrics and melody are good. They'll get better with time and practice. Just keep writing what you feel. If I can deeply feel sad that I found a roach in my soup I COULD write a song about it. It would TOTALLY suck, but I could. The thing that matters is that if I did that, and you could feel the emotion in my song, it doesn't really matter what it's about. I mean....Look at 'MacArther Park' by Richard Harris
"MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down...
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!"
I swear, that's part of a real song.
What's more? This song was a top 10 song for weeks in the 60's. Must have been all the drugs.
My point: Feel it. Forget what anyone else will think. And if it sucks realllllllly bad, play it anyway. Just once. Just to see what people think. I have songs I hate that everyone else LOVES! Advice on carrying that one will take too long lol.
There are more things I do, but these are the essentials for me. Just never give up. Never listen to anyone else. Dream your dreams the way YOU want to because you have to live with them later on. If someone talks you down and you look back thinking, 'Shit Why did I do it THAT way!?' it will ruin the whole experience. You never know what you can offer others. Don't sell yourself short. Its worth it, and you know it or you wouldn't still be dreaming it.
We play at The Fifth in Bountiful tonight with Peter Harvey and I am so excited! If you haven't seen them you should! Hope to see you at a show soon!

September 24th was amazing!

Friday. Just like any other Friday. Working as much as you can to keep busy so you don't think about your excitement for the weekend. This particular Friday we had some awesome plans and by about 3:00 I was done.....but I had another hour to go. Sometimes that excitement to leave work makes it go WAY slower!
Backtrack.....
A few months ago, we attended an ASCAP music conference in LA. There were many great speakers and classes, and in the midst of all this amazing stuff, theres Sinbad, the comedian. Right in front of us. Ty says, 'Go get your pic with him' I looked over and people kept asking him for pics so I didn't want to bug him when he was there for the expo but I decided now or never and asked him politely for a picture. He was sooooo nice and smiled big for the camera. I was impressed that he was so polite even with people bugging him. I have not met many celebrities but I always told myself, 'Mel, if you want to be a successful musician, you have to understand that part of the job includes fans' (I guess I never REALLY said that but its in my mind) This is why its always dissapointing when you ask someone you look up to for their time, and they act like jerks and freak out or sigh like 'Ya I GUESS' even though I know sometimes that is a lot to ask. I immediately followed him on Twitter.

Fast Forward a few months. Ty helps a nice lady from The Sheridan Hotel with some carpet (He sells carpet in a flooring store you pervs lol) and she asks him 'since you're a musician do you know these types of bands that could play at this event we have at the Sheridan?' Ty knew one of the types she was looking for and refered them. She later contacted him and said, 'We'd love to have you and your girlfriend come be VIPs at this event we hold at The Sheridan on September 24th from 4-7 pm. Its all free and you get a free room for the night.' DONE
Suddenly we realize, well shit...We are playing in Idaho Fals the very next morning. We decided we would have to miss the free room but could attend part of the event and head to IF later.
One day, while on Twitter, I see that Mr. Sinbad himself is coming to SLC September 24th, 7:00 pm. We decide to set aside $$.
Fast forward a few weeks. In the time between ASCAP and now, I have had the privaledge to tweet back and forth with Sinbad. Hes very cool, has a daughter who is a very talented and looks like driven, musician, and is still funny as hell. I mentioned that I saw he was coming to SLC. He says 'Let me know'
Fast forward to somewhere around the 19th. As we look at finances to go to Idaho Falls for our shows, we realize we don't have $$ for Sinbad tix. I am so sad. I tell Sinbad, looks like we wont make it. He says...'I'll hook you up' WHAT!?!?
I have this guilt complex lol Im thinking 2 things. 1: What a generous offer. 2: I hope he doesn't think I was trying for that. lol
Friday, September 24th. Work. Gone most the day either to a lunch or cause I left early so we could hit up the Rediscovering The Sheridan before we go to Sinbad!! We decided to go ahead and stay the free night cause we dont often get a chance to stay in a Sheridan lol. We are given nametags, and told to attend each of the 6 rooms which represent different places. 1: India 2:Italy 3:Japan 4:North Pole 5:Ireland 6:Costa Rica. Each room is dressed, and themed to the place and they have food and drink according to the culture. You get your fake passport stamped,which could win you some sweet schwag including tv's) and you eat some food, and drink some alcohol, and hang out. We left there and headed for Kingsbury Hall. We take a chance and take the President's Drive circle around to check for very unlikely open spots and...Theres one! We put about $1.00 in the meter before realizing we dont need to and practically skip to the Will-Call booth. We ask for our tickets and head inside. Ty looks at them and looks at me with amazement. Section A, seats 24 and 25. 4 rows back, and center. I Tweet Sinbad to tell him he's amazing and very generous. He tweets back, Make sure you come backstage after the show. WHAT!?!?! I swear if the guy had looked out the curtain and seen us he'd have seen two people giggling and trying to hold it together. We couldn't believe this was happening.
If you take one thing from this blog, here it is.....Sinbad is HILLARIOUS. If you ever get a chance to see him live, DO IT! I laughed so hard I thought I was going to throw up. My stomach was in pain and I'm pretty sure I had a 6 pack of muscle on our way out at the end. See Sinbad live. Thats all.
After the show, we waited for a bit to let the guy relax and I direct messaged him 'How do we get back there'
Long story short, he tells me to call him and gives me his #. Um...Ya....I called Sinbad and he gave us directions lol. (If you read this man, you'll either think we're crazy people or laug ha ha) I want to add something. Im not telling you this because we are bragging, I'm telling you this because we never have things like this happen and we were so excited and wanted to tell you how much fun it was....so maybe bragging a little lol jk. We walk in and the guy asks what we need. Very unsure of myself I go 'Um....we're here to see Sinbad?' lol 'Names? Oh ya right this way.' Back we go.
There he is. Motha Effing Sinbad in the flesh sitting on a chair hangin out. We greet, tell him how awesome he is cause he is lol, then talk music, life, etc. I think I said 'It's true' like 50 times. Then its time to go. He's gonna go see a the Wayans Bros show at Wiseguys and we have a trip tomorrow and a free hotel room. He stops to take pics with his waiting fans one of which was FREAKING out. I thought it was sweet how much she loved him and how nice he was even though she was almost knocking him over with her jumping lol. Very cool.
We go back to our 4 star hotel room in awe. Both of us are just so amazed that this day has even happened I half expected a semi truck to hit us. It was almost too good.
We crawl into the bed at the hotel, and feel like a million bucks. I have never felt like a VIP QUITE like that.
In all the craziness of life, these amazing plusses happened on the same night. Honestly, I feel so fortunate to have such a beautiful day. I told Ty that someday, when we're fulltime musicians, more VIP moments are likely, and I only hope that we are always as excited for them as we were that night.
Someday, I hope that we can give someone the excitement and joy Sinbad gave us.
And someday, I hope we can hook HIM up with a great night with us somewhere.
This, made me feel successful. We may not be Katy Perry or Jack Johnson (Two TOTALLY different people I know) but we are successful people, successful musicians, we see good things and appreciate them for everything they are. I never expected to get tickets from Sinbad, but that's the point. We don't EXPECT anything. We do the best we can with what we have and sometimes super cool people come out of the woodwork and show us that good things happen for what ever reason.
September 24th was amazing.

Thanks for reading and keep watching for more. I blog about once every other week and try to post it on FB and Twitter. I will blog about recording but we are still mid adventure on that and I want to tell the whole story. Good things guys. Good things.

Inspiring Days Are The Best

Well, here I am sitting in my living room listening to our newest song (literally less than 1 hour old as I start to write this) on my phone over and over. I wish we could just release this shit like, now! LOL.
Today has been what I hope fulltime musicianhood would be like. Wake up a little later in the day, get ready, go play a show, go home, write a song, work on it, record a little, head out to a destination such as recording or in the future touring, and then play my little heart out. WHAT A GREAT LIFE!!!!!
Then theres writing songs. Sometimes I get inspiration at work and eventhough I write it down and do what I can with it, I always get home and the inspiration is gone. That, is, the, WORST.
But, does anyone else feel like they can't say what they want to say in a song for one reason or another. I mean, I personally don't like 'sharing feelings' and getting all mushy etc. It's just no my thing. So I sing about it. Its the only way to get it out and you HAVE to get it out SOMEHOW. So, sometimes, I have a super inspiring day and we write a song that I think contains all my current feelings with out wearing my heart on my sleeve. Yuck lol. Now I feel renewed. After you do anything you're proud of, its such a relief. This is why inspiring days are the best. Its like this renewal of yourself. You don't feel so tired, so exausted. You just feel better. I'd love to hear from you guys what inspires you, what you do with it, and how it makes you feel when you get it all out.
Tonight, we will be leaving to record in California and give a few of our songs the recording they deserve. This is such a great step for us and we are really excited to take it. Big things guys. Seriously, we may not be the first of our friends to live the dream, but we'll see you all soon :D
Side note, thank you to you who support us. We can't tell you how much it means to us and how special it is to share this journey with you. Some of you are such great friends and we can't imagine life with out you. Every time one of you leaves for greener pastures, we can feel the space you leave behind but are so excited for you and your new journeys and the fact that its one more couch in this country we can crash on later lol. Those who are here with us in the UT. We can't wait for more :D

Our Train Wreck weekend and why it affected our habits....

There are always 200 more reasons NOT to do something than reasons TO do something. Its been a long day, I have a handle on that, I'll do it tomorrow, Im too tired, something else is going on, other people are standing in my way, I could go on. How many of these have I used to not practice? ALL of them. What's my point? This weekend I forgot my music book for a 4 hour gig. If you know us at ALL, you know that Melody HAS to have her music for everything. Even on the radio, page in front. On Park City TV (LIVE P.S.) sometimes you can catch a glimpse of the corner of my page laying on the stage in front of me. I knew it was my security blanket of sorts, but suddenly I felt VERY lost. I was uncomfortable, I couldn't feel the songs, and a lot Ty had to play solo because I don't know the chords. This made me REALLY disappointed in myself. What the hell have I been doing? I wrote these songs and I don't KNOW them????!!!! If you really think about that statement you will realize how little I practice. Here we are talking about our commitment to music and our careers and I don't know my songs. Any band I joined and said, 'SHIT I forgot my music book! I don't know the songs' would kick me out!
I can only make excuses or so long. Soon, Ty and I are committing to become full time musicians. And I don't know my songs lol. Right. So my blog installment is a commitment to learn my songs by heart. The only time a music book should be acceptable for someone who has been playing and performing as long as I have, is if we are playing a long gig. Sometimes, its good to have there but I shouldn't use it every show and I can't lean on it all the time. 3 song shows, 30 minute sets....etc.
Starting now, I will be learning these bitches by heart inside and out, so when I show up and its cold and rainy and Im distracted by everything else around me, I don't have to worry about knowing my shit. The end.

Acoustic All-Stars 2010

Pics: John Zay, Ashley & Taryn, Brian.

Wow. Seriously, this past weekend was the hardest, most frustrating, most exciting, most exausting, and most rewarding weekend I remember ever having. With the pictures, the videos, the laughs, the exorbanant (spelling) amount of drinks consumed, and the amazing people we just spent it with, I find myself wondering, 'What more could a person want'
There was a time in my life when I said, I want to play music. I didn't know another musician ESPECIALLY one who played out. My first open mic was so scary I dont think anyone could hear me cause I was so scared of my voice. As I played more I saw musicians just like me who were scared and very new. But then I would see the focused, practiced, experienced musicians and just sit in awe. When we started this, I never realized I would sit in awe like I was new again. Every year, new talent comes along and we say, "How have I never heard you!?" Its so exciting to get to meet these super talented people doing what I have looked up to AND get to perform with them.

(Pic: Jen Stensrud)

My only regret this year was that we didn't get to talk to the outside stage performers much and felt we didn't try hard enough to include them. We apologize. Luckily we were able to run down there enough to get pics and say hi to most of them.
Now for the juicy stuff....
Friday.
We got off work at 1 and already had the car packed so we could pick up some banners and drive to PC and get ready, check into the room etc. Unfortunately, we realized we forgot a banner in a Mr. Brett Turner's vehicle who lives in Ogden. (Pic: Brett Turner) We decide to meet halfway, originally Centerville but later moved up to Layton. Why? Well, we hit traffic and were driving very slow. I called Brett and said, you're going to have to meet us up here cause we're stuck. Suddently a cop car passes in the emergency lane. Yep. A wreck. We slowly drive for a bit and suddenly, traffic clears. We see a LONG line of cars on the other side stuck behind a motorist who has rammed into the middle barriers. I called Brett again 'Nevewrmind we'll meet you.'  We finally got the banner and headed back to town. Luckily we were able to use Legacy Highway. We pick up the last of the banners and head to Park City.
For some reason, someone decided that THIS weekend, the weekend of The Kimball Arts Festival, was the weekend to do construction on the road. We ended up on one of these roads trying to find where to check into our hotel. Ty apperently pissed off the hotel clerk and she was taking her sweet ass time to get to him lol. I know he didn't on purpose and he WAS able to still sweet talk her out of a few extra parking passes. We were a little close on schedule so we hurried up to the room, claimed our room, took some pics, and then I took Ty to the bar to hang banners. I then went back to the room to park, get ready and walk UP the hill. All in all I took this trek and one even to it in trips to the Miners Park Stage a few times. Im thinking 2 down, 4 up......
The first night was awesome! I got to sing back up for Josh Johnson, and have Greg Downs play guitar and Ty play D'jembe...it was awesome. Then there was the DJ. We stayed until about 12 and headed back to the room. DOWN. Taryn and I were joined by Miguel and Friends. (Super cool guys) We hung out, drank, etc. Good times. Tawny made Chicken Tacos (MMMMMmmmmm) and we started to settle down. Everyone left at somewhere around 3 or 4 I believe and I went and woke Ty up out of the hot tub so he didn't drown. lol
Sleep

Saturday:
Taryn made the best breakfast burritos. (In our full Kitchen)

Since we were able to shove a bunch of people into the room, it was SUPER cheap.
We were able to relax a bit and get ready for the night. Then it was time to go back UP.
Hanging banners, fliers etc. Marc Cooper had Shelly, Kole, and us on the stage to sing some Bob Marley and Beatles. I played the shaker and was being perverted. Of course.
Steve Swift. That guy is a bad ass. I have never seen him play like he played this year. He has a stomp box that he kicks while he's playing and this year he was ROCKING OUT. It was awesome.
(I apologize because I can't talk about everyone's sets. I was impressed with everyone and want you to know that I'm picking by story, and pictures.)
Saturday night was just awesome. I mean, Jen Stensrud, Dustin Bangerter, Peter Harvey, Marc Cooper, Steven Swift, Kimo Watanabe, and Whiskey King Coalition....HELL YA!
After, we all went back and hit the hot tub. First I went with Smash to get suits and Totinos. We got back and made them and smash called the slightly scorched ones 'Cajun Style cause they're blackened' lol
If you have never hung out with Mac and Flip(The Local Landing) they are two funny bastards. Seriously. That's all I got on the subject.
When the water started swaying me OR I started swaying me, not sure which, I went to bed. It was close to 5 am.

Sunday:
8:30 am. My alarm goes off. I feel like SHIT.
Whose fault is that? MINE! Was it worth it? YA!
I got up and tried to help a bit by cleaning. and then slowly made coffee and drank water. I got dressed and had to leave to get to the Miners Park Stage and get passes to a few artists. UP.
I sat at the park for a bit listening to Shelly Riff with Marc Cooper then joined by Kole Hansen, and thought I was going to pass out it was so hot. Stupid weather lying to me.
I couldn't handle it. I needed to change. DOWN lol
I changed and then took a 15 nap and was ready to go again. UP.
I was really dissapointed to miss Amir Jackson's set by only a minute or 2. (Sad Face)
Back and forth I went a few more times to the stage. I got to meet Jenn Hajj, and Utah Slim, and heard US Thieves. Mike got sweet pics of Chris Orrock. Jenn has such a Celtic voice. Beautiful!
Sunday was better than we imagined and we pulled almost as many tickets in on Sunday as on Saturday night. AWESOME! The Sunday Lineup was Miquel and Friends, Brian Bingham, John Zay, Ashlee Dickson, Silver Glen, Kole, Timmy Pearce, Alan Sanders, and W. James Woods. Fantastic!!!

Pic: Kole with Marc Cooper

Now for my favorite part. After....Throughout the year in the past I have loved to see the stage being shared between other AAS artists. I can't tell you all the joy I feel and satisfaction we get from seeing the dream of this festival come alive. Its such an honor to have friends who are willing to come play and promote with us for something that we believe in so strongly. We know and have met some amazing people and will continue to do so. This is networking at its finest and a great way to almost try out for other's interest in opening spots whether its you opening or them.
All I have to say is,(Except you Aleeca cause you were in Alaska) If you didn't come to the 2010 Acoustic All-Stars Festival, you missed out.

Our Thoughts on Over Saturation

To play or not to play, that REALLY is the question. Ty and I started out performing everywhere we could get our asses booked with a few things in mind:
1: Experience. The more you play out, the better your live show will be. Practice is great. Practice is necessary. But there is nothing that will train your live show like playing live for a bunch of people you don't know. Scratch that. People you DO know tend to be a little harder to 'entertain'. Now, this isn't ALWAYS true. Sometimes, they're easier because you can get a dialogue going with people while on stage and that can prove to be a great tool, but sometimes, people you know, though more likely to clap and applaud, are probably people who have heard all your songs, seen your act, and talked to you before the show so what else do you have to say to them? Sometimes, they are great because you can mess with them, and you're more comfortable, but this can also be bad. If you are talking to people you know, you're leaving potential new fans out and that helps no one. Is this REALLY something we think about before during and after a show? YES! More on this later.
Reason 2: No offense, but people are fickle. 'Out of sight out of mind'. Even the most famous of the famous are forgotten when out of the spotlight. Let me give you a few examples and we will see f you think ‘Oh yeah! Them!’ Aleecia Silverstone. Kirk Cameron. Matthew Lillard. Or on the opposite end of the spectrum, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, people who are ALWAYS in the news etc. They’re famous for being famous. In comes the saying 'there’s no such thing as bad press' or how ever you say it. Other people’s attention is what gets you noticed by new crowds. So if we play every weekend and sometimes during the week, there is more chance of people seeing our names SOMEWHERE over and over and over again. But do we want OR need that kind of attention? Do we want to be famous for being famous? Or do we want to be talented musicians who get credit where credit is due?
Reason 3: Playing shows = networking opportunities. Not only to build a fan base, but also to meet other musicians and build a community (which if you live in Utah, you KNOW is sorely needed.) Again, let me list a few musicians we met JUST from shows. Us Thieves. Wil Prater. Ashlee Dickson. Peter Harvey. There are WAY more but my point is this, we respect and enjoy their music and have continued to work with them all as a result.
Reason 4: We love it. Seriously, it is HARD work, and very exhausting to perform out every weekend almost always 2 nights a weekend. Packing, unpacking, no time off, work during the week, work during the weekend. (Though we have never seen this as ‘work’)
Ok. Culmination. Are we playing too much?? Do people see we are playing somewhere and say, ‘eh, I’ll catch em next week.’ Are we actually doing ourselves harm? Will we burn out?
OPPINNION section. We REALLY would love to hear thoughts on this. Our thought is this. Performers take breaks, go on hiatus, etc. but I have always felt (again no offense) that your relationships with the clubs you frequently play are just as important as all the other relationships you’re juggling. Not only are many clubs changing ownership, managers, and staff, but also booking agents. If we stop playing out for more than a week or 2, suddenly we are playing catch up. Sometimes, if you don’t book a place for a while, you call to book, and guess what. ‘We decided not to have live music anymore.’ Could you have prevented that? Maybe. Maybe they needed more musicians to perform and didn’t have a list built yet. Finding people to come perform was way more work then they wanted to put into it. This isn’t our job, no, but as a dedicated networking musician, I think we should take it upon ourselves to share our contacts with clubs and our clubs with contacts. Why? Because the more clubs die, the fewer places to perform, the more our music scene dies everyday. That….. would suck! So, our idea, is to perform more like 2-3 times a month instead of 6-8 in clubs, coffee shops etc. This way we can properly promote shows without the daily Facebook that everyone starts ignoring after the 5th one that week. I mean, think about it. When a band comes through town that you like, aren’t you more likely to go see them than do anything else because it’s for a limited time? Um…ya! We DO however feel that we need to keep performing so we are thinking of having weekend concerts in our basement 1-2 times a month. This is for the invited, the trusted, and the music loving people. We want to have other musicians come play with us. This would be like house concerts, but we would play at all of them. If no one comes, its practice lol. So, our friends our invited to our practice. No promoting, no Facebook posts, just a one time text saying ‘hey, house concerts on the 1 and 3rd Friday of the month’ (example) What do you think??
Finally retouching on reason #1. If we do this concert idea, we want suggestions, ideas, and general help. No performing artist can perform the same set, the same way, with the same banter every time. Its stale, and no one wants to see these more than 2 times at the most. These concerts would be to improve our entertainment skills. A boring musician who is talented is still boring.
So, is this the way to find a happy medium to the Lindsay Lohan or the Aleecia Silverstone way of life? Ready? Go!

No blog this week....

Just wanted to see if you'd read it ha ha. Any ideas for future blog subjects?:D

“Come to me my pretties”

It seems that no matter what you’re taking about, keeping with and ahead of trends can turn anything into gold. But have you ever heard the phrase ‘All that shimmers is not gold’? I sure have. So what means “Gold” to you I wonder? Now, I know Ty and I are musicians and talk more about the music biz than anything else, but I think a lot of us forget that music IS a business. Therefore, why can’t some of our blogs include everyone? Well, they can but I don’t know if they will because I have never owned a restaurant, or a law firm, or anything else for that matter. I owned a car once…. I don’t think that counts.
I digress.
Today, I hear more about the glories of Social Media than anything else. I agree that it has its power, for one who not only knows how to use it, but uses it religiously. Lives for it. Those people can do anything with it, and when I say anything, I believe ANYTHING. Ty and I do not lol. This is why I feel a sense of relief when I see articles posted by gregdowns.com like this: http://www.musicthinktank.com/blog/eight-recent-social-and-technical-phenomena-that-are-making.(copy and paste url) Bruce Warila essentially says you CAN succeed without being deeply committed to social media sites if you know how to play to your audience. If you can peak an interest in your fans ….wait…..Lets start from the beginning. I have no fans. I have no product that is worthwhile. If I have a way to make a product that people will like (= LOTS OF HARD WORK), if they see/hear it at a trade show, concert, etc., I only need a few things to happen. One or two people who like it can and probably will post something on THEIR social media site. If I have something people want to see, they will tell their friends, and their friends will show up. If I have people show up, guess what… we look cooler… and cool is and always will be ‘In’. Suddenly, someone posts a video of us performing…YouTube…check. Every time someone likes that video or post that a fan put up, we gain credibility (I heard all about this last night at a conference and will touch briefly on it later) as well as coolness. Remember? Always in. Now we have a brand, a product, and guess what, we didn’t have a website, a YouTube, a twitter, a Facebook, a MySpace, a reverbnation, a Flickr, or any other of the thousands of sites out there. Do I recommend this? No! Why not? Because making a product into ‘Gold’ is a slow process WITH those things. Imagine not having them. But… *Whew…sigh of relief* Can I just say it? I HATE social media! I have felt it’s a necessary evil! And yet, here I am, writing a blog… about social media… saying I hate it…and referencing websites, Facebook’s, twitters, etc. So, CAN it be done? Yes. But I don’t recommend it. Besides, if you think about it, WE may not have a webpage or those other sites in this story, but we are still using them through other people. I mean, before Newspapers, radio, and TV, (the ORIGINAL social medias) there were NO megabands, or were there? I mean, without some sort of circulation, how would there be? I would LOVE to hear some input about this if anyone knows anything about it. I googled it but couldn’t find any info.
It seems to me that we as earth (ha ha) are breeding a new sort of artist. An artist with an ego larger than life. To have access to people in other states, countries, MAYBE planets lol, seems quite the accomplishment. No wonder so many crash and burn and become total monsters! Suddenly we have access to EVERYTHING at the snap of a finger. This brings me to the next point. http://music-promotion-blog.blogspot.com/2010/06/do-you-use-marketing-match-or.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+MusicPromotionBlog+%28Bob+Baker%27s+Indie+Music+Promotion+Blog%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
We are in the flamethrower age. We are all throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks when in fact we should be nicely wrapping that shit in a box and tossing it to a few people here and there…wait lol. Read this article for realzies! I just don’t know how to better paraphrase it and it’s short.
The last thing I am going to talk about is credibility. Someone brought this up at a social media conference last night and I apologize for anything that may be misconstrued or taken as a bash. I am not going for that. See, what is ok for one person may not be ok for another. When building your credibility, you are deciding what you will put up with, what you will be known for, how reliable you are, if your fans, friends, and tweeps can trust you. (Why don’t Facebook fans have a cool name? Like, Friendbookers or Facebros/Facebitches? I like the latter.) Don’t fall prey to those companies that tweet for you, that message people for your, that take over your whole social media persona for you, and I’m sorry, but autoreplies are just as bad to me. Now, a great point was made. If you are honest and tell your fans etc. that you’re busy and keep them engaged and let them know what you’re doing that you can’t reply to everyone then you don’t have to worry about that. But ALSO, if you don’t follow someone on twitter, they can’t direct message you so DON’T follow EVERYONE on twitter. Simple.
To come full circle, we are in a mirage of a simpler time. With access to anything we need, we forget that bands played, toured, performed, and made a living BEFORE these sites. Don’t get me wrong. I know people who I believe will be very successful either at these sites or because of them, but successful none the less. But there is such a strong focus on these sites that we forget that we just need a great product. What does that say about Ty and me? We need to work harder to have a better product. We need to be more engaging, more exciting, and more fun. If you’re not a successful musician (remember? What is ‘Gold’ to you?) So do you. How? That’s only something YOU can decide. We are all in a creative right brain business. Don’t limit yourself to music. It can be done. Will it?

If you want to be successful, surround yourself with promising and already successful people.

When I sold vacuumes door-to-door (swear to God it's true) I learned a lot. There are a few statements and sayings that have forever stuck with me. To quote a few, practice doesn't make perfect, "Practice makes improvement". Some people may not like this half empty approach, but I think it has a realizm that is important in certain situations. "The fear of loss is greater than the hope of gain." This quote is particularly interesteing to me because if you think about it and open your eyes, you can see that mostly that's true. People are more afraid to lose something they feel is important than almost anything else. "Dream Big. It's free." Nuff said right? And finally, "If you want to be successful, surround yourself with promising and already successful people." This one is invaluable.
Long ago, we realized that you can have 1,000,000 acquaintences, but if only 2 of them know YOU, you may as well have 2 acquaintences. BUT. If you have 3 real friends, you have 3 real friends. Ty and I have made it super important in our quest for the life of music to surround ourselves with people we truly enjoy, like, and have a respect for with only one ulterior motive. To really truly be friends with those people. This brings me to my next quote. I heard it on the radio one day. "Be nice to people on your way up because you'll need them on your way back down." -Winston Churchill. We have decided to base our careers on this quote.
We have been so privelaged to be associated with some of the greatest fans, musicians, and venues probably known to man that it's easy to live this way. Sometimes new friends come along and that is just fine. Sometimes we get an email from a 'Fran' (I just came up with that because our fans are our friends. I dub thee, Fran) telling us how much they love our music, or thanking us for free tickets to shows. These emails are beautiful. Never stop! It means so much to us to have people like what we love to do. I think a lot of people don't understand artistic endeavors. We work with some supportive people, but I think a lot of them think its rediculous. We get asked silly questions a lot in jest toward us.We hear this more than we hear "I love your music". I remember as a kid getting teased for singing. Even some family (not immediate) telling me I couldn't do it... Well... Guess what. We're doing it! lol Now some of those people have since found me on facebook and tell me they enjoy our music. And the ones I REALLY love are the people I was once friends with who WERE supportive of me finding us on facebook and online and saying they still love us :D *warm and fuzzy*. Then, we come play a show and we play a new song that we're not sure about, and you love it, or we are just really feeling it and it feels GREAT. And then a Fran (lol I'm a genius), new or old tells us they love it. All of a sudden all is right with the world.
As we get more involved with the community, new people turn up everyday and its really exciting to meet them. We think of most of you as famous in our eyes because we get to do some bad ass things! :D
A good example of this is The Utah Musicians Breakfast Club which was started after Eric Openshaw suggested a monthly meting with musicians at breakfast. GENIUS! Eric, Us, Taryn, and Candice started building a community of musicians on Facebook that brought us together at places we all choose. We meet once a month and talk about music, our plans, shows coming up, what we've been working on, and share ideas and sometimes join in on the events. This is exciting because we are all facebook friends but sometimes you miss those opportunities or you can hear more details in person. Some great shows and collaborations have come from these things.
It's exciting to be accepted in this group of truly great people, Kole, John, MIke, Taryn, Rick, The Local Landing guys, Eric, I can't even name them all,(sorry) and get to hear their ideas, the things they feel deeply for and get the chance to join in on these endeavors and help them get it out to all our friends to help build it. This community of music is something surreal. No idea is a bad idea. No one is turned away (unless you're someone ex-boyfriend stalking them or something like that. Then you have to leave. lol) Everyone is trying to be a part of a movement that I know deep down will be remembered even if only by us. We truly believe that the people we are meeting every day are so amazingly talented and smart that many of them are going to find a way to do what they love. To even just watch that is so cool :)
We just are excited to see where our lives go, what we accomplish and what we have to give up on, and whats more, the people we are still truly dear friends with 20 years from now. We love you all in a totally non perverted or innappropriate way. (except maybe Kole. Its totally innappropriate and perverted lol jk)

I'm a festival? No YOUR a festival!

So what exactly does it take to try and host a music festival? Is it a venue, some artists, and some promotion? Sure, but it's also a commitment to spending a lot of damn time in front of a computer doing everything from listening to the artists that have submitted material, to designing logos & fliers. Here's a little insight into the Acoustic All-Stars from our eyes . . .

First off let's give you a little background about how the Acoustic All-Stars came to be. In 2008 Melody and I had just started getting really serious about performing out as often as possible, so we were very busy playing show after show. We were sitting in Liquid Joes on a local music Wednesday night just after playing our set, and we were listening to one of the acts that was performing after us. Melody leans over to me and says "there needs to be a venue or event that helps showcase all the great acoustic talent here in Utah". And thus, the seed was planted.
We spent the next month or so brainstorming different ideas on how we could get involved in such an event. Finally Melody comes up to me one night and says "what if we do a festival type show that promotes artists coming together, sharing fans, and building a stronger all around music scene?" Brilliant! Oh, and let me just stop here and say that when it comes to amazing ideas, Mel is FULL of them!
So we had the idea, now it was time to find the venue. We already knew that we wanted to have more than one show that stretched over more than one day. We were looking for a place that would allow us to book out a weekend, and on top of that, a place that would allow us to book a weekend of JUST acoustic music. With that in mind, we started out search. We contacted a few different places, but nothing was panning out quite as we had hoped. We were talking to owners, manager, friends, basically anyone we knew that might be able to help us out. Finally our answer came one night in Park City just after we had played a show at a new venue. We talked to the manager/booking agent and he really like the idea, so we were off and running!
One of the hardest parts about booking a "festival" type show, is finding all of the musicians to play, and trying to coordinate them. We started spreading the word that we were doing a 3 night show and we needed musicians. Still being fairly new to the SLC music scene, it was a bit difficult finding the acts. We were asking everyone we knew, from long time friends, to newly found musicians we had met just a few weeks back. Everything was panning out beautifully, until . . .
We got an email that read something like this, "we are sorry to have to do this, but we have to cancel your acoustic shows due to a change in ownership. they are changing owners and they want us to cancel all of our upcoming shows." We had been planning this for about a month so far, and with just about 2 months to go, we had no venue. Back to the drawing board.
Now I'm a believer that all things happen for a reason, and there was most certainly a reason for this, but we just didn't know it yet. During all of this planning and having the venue cancel on us, we were still playing shows and working on our own music. Alas, here steps in The Star Bar!
We were playing a show in Park City at The Star Bar and as we're sitting there, we started talking about the possibility of hosting it there. We played our set, and it was a bit of a slower night so we took the opportunity to sit down and talk with Danny, the manager. We explained to him the idea we had for the show and almost instantly he said "we'd love to be involved!".
We were back in business!
So to save some time we'll just skim over the weeks leading up to the 1st official Acoustic All-Stars Festival. We found all of our musicians, some by asking, and some that found out about the show and asked us if they could be a part of it. The show was a success, the first night was amazing, we had numerous friends come hang out and support the show, and all of the music was spectacular. This was exactly what we had envisioned!
Year 2 was more organized seeing as you get better the more you do something, and you learn from your rookie mistakes. We had musicians applying that we had never heard of (which is awesome because it means that the festival was spreading), we understood marketing a little better, and we felt more confident about ourselves as "event organizers". By way of a couple well timed emails & phone calls, we had landed a spot as the cover story on one of slc's weekly magazine IN.
Now it's the 3rd year of the show and this is what we've learned so far. #1 - there's always going to be at least 1 artist that is "a bit difficult". #2 - There's always going to be some sort of snag that will make us think that nothing will work out, but eventually it becomes not nearly as bad as it originally seemed. #3 - Coordinating musicians, the venue, sponsors, tv spots, marketing, advertising, and promoting . . . can be a BITCH! And last but not least #4 - Meeting all of these talented musicians has been worth it's weight in gold!
One of the main challenges for us has been advertising. In the first 2 years Mel and I came out of pocket on everything we did for the shows, but at this point it has grown enough that we can no longer do that, forcing us to seek sponsorships. Asking people for money is one of the hardest things to do, now I know that they guy that stands on the corner just off of the freeway ramp just had to find a marker, some cardboard, and stand there. But this is a little different.
We've had to search out companies that have vested interest in our festival, companies that want to invest in what we're doing, and companies that want to be involved. It's tough, but we've got some fantastic people on board so far... Park City TV has been with us from year 1, they allow us to promote by having artists on their Mountain Views Show and inviting us on for Acoustic All-Stars week at their station... The Local Landing just came on board and they are ALL ABOUT promoting local events and spreading the word to all of their followers... Park City Lodging has given us an amazing offer on hotel rooms. Stay 2 nights and your 2nd night is HALF OFF, stay 3 nights and the 3rd night is FREE! Now that's what I call awesome... and of course The Star Bar. This whole thing would have been possible without Danny giving us the chance to prove ourselves as promoters and music lovers. From the very first they have allowed us to basically do what we want in booking the shows. They provide us with an amazing venue that is complete with a killer atmosphere. Amazing sound system, sound engineer provided, extra friendly staff, and great great drink specials! Oh, and for those of you who don't know much about The Star Bar and it's history. The Star Bar hosted the ASCAP Music Cafe during Sundance each year from 1999-2008 and here is a small list of just some of the people who have performed on this stage (we'd list them all but there are FAR too many to list), deep breath and here we go . . . .

Silversun Pickups
Neil Young
Graham Nash
Ingrid Michaelson
Pat Monahan of Train
Brett Dennon
Emserson Hart
Martin Sexton
Glan Hansard and Marketa Irglova
Jonatha Brooke
Tim Easton
Jonny Lang
Damien Rice
Emmylou Harris
Jason Mraz
Josh Ritter
Kings of Leon
Joseph Arthur w/ Ben Harper
Joseph Arthur w/ Peter Gabriel
The Dresden Dolls
Imogen Heap
Joe Purdy
Bruce Hornsby
Shawn Colvin
Ben Kweller
The All-American Rejects
Michael McDonald
Linda Perry
Deana Carter
Guy Clark
Jon Mclaughlin


and that's just the start of it. So you can see why we LOVE The Star Bar and having our event at this wonder venue. The musical history of the place alone is worth bragging about.

The Acoustic All-Stars is our heart, our soul, and our passion of trying to bring attention to some of the many talented musicians that Utah has to offer, we hope you enjoy what we're doing!

Building Something from Awesome...

Long long ago, in a city not so far away, I decided I hated work. Work is the worst thing even invented and farming and trading goods was still not all that great. I wonder to myself, 'Why can't I be something awesome, like a mattress tester, or a video game tester, or some other kind of tester that was fun and relaxing?' But alas, No such job has ever been made available to me. What is surprising is that you need a degree to make $ testing video games and there are NO people who go into work and make their living taking naps on new mattresses....are there? I know most people hate their jobs, so I say, if you hate it and there's something you love to do, figure out how to make money doing it. You can! But HOW?
This is the journey we have yet to take.
We have been fortunate in the press we have gotten, and even some of the places we've played and people we've opened for but still when we call to book and places we have played several times, even THEY don't even know who we are lol. We have learned so much in this world of music, and yet, we are soooooooo new to this.
I have learned about the ways of music from an embarrassing amount of TV and radio. Music videos we're my radio and they were always on. My dad played old 8 tracks with old old old music on them and I realized from "May the Bird of Paradise Fly up your Nose" (real song, look it up) you can be a silly songwriter. I tried that as a kid and it was not the fit for me. I have learned that some of the more experienced musicians are the biggest a-holes and some of the less experienced are the greatest people you could ever meet. But growing a business is its own learning experience entirely. Because that's what this is. A business. I wouldn't mind if we could perform for a living and make close to what we make now at the full time jobs we love so dearly. That shouldn't be TOO hard. But there's so much to it and you have to take it seriously. Theres research, pictures, new songs, legal issues to understand or know someone who does that can help you, taxes, your image, social media, and so much more than I even imagined.
In an effort to bring a community together as well as build some worth for our business, Ty and I founded an acoustic music festival called The Acoustic All-Stars (http://www.acoustic-allstars.com) about 3 years ago. The first 2 years were spent working out kinks, which will inevidably continue, but now its growing more. If we can't advertise, it will not grow, and eventually die. This is a huge task because I have never done anything like asking for sponsors before and quite honestly its scary as hell. But, knowing that if we can't make a business out of music, I'll sit behind my desk for the rest of my life, we HAVE to succeed. This is all part of our plan to take over the music universe......or at least a small corner of it.
I have heard numerous interviews with actors, singer, writers, all these "you'll never make it" type industries, and so many have said 'I wasn't successful until I risked it all and did this full time. Then I had nothing else to fall back on I had NO choice and HAD to make it.'
The biggest problem we have is that everything we do is twice as expensive. I can't quit my job and tour with out him, and vise versa. If we tour, it costs us twice what it costs our solo friends. Food, gas, everything. Most people have one of 3 situations. 1: They're solo or in a band, but their spouse, significant other, parents work and cover extra expenses. 2: Their job pays well and they're financially fit now so they can work AND tour as much as they want, or 3: They are already successful musicians making their living that way.
So we have started saving money to pay off all debts, and working on a business model, which I had heard of before but when told we should do it, I thought...'How have we NOT done that!?' (Thanks http://www.Gregdowns.com)So now, to learn what a business model is. lol
If anyone has some suggestions, we'll take them :D
We need to learn how to monetize this bitch. lol It is time!
We also have to realize that management in the music industry isn't what it used to be. Now everything is DIY. Getting a big record contract isn't the dream most of us have anymore because we can loose our creative freedom, and a huge chunk of hard earned money to the company/label taking good care of us. Besides, a lot of labels sign you and then say, ok keep doing what you're doing, good luck, we may drop you.
Here's what Im reaching at. If I could travel the world singing and writing songs and meeting the awesome people we get to meet at shows, I wouldn't work another day in my life. Its not work to me. I have only ever played a show one or two times that felt like I was going to a job. Its the thing that I was born to do. Its what makes me breathe. (Id add eat but thats not why. I love food!)
Let me tell you how it feels. Its like the best drug ever that makes you feel like you're in the right place, and is almost orgasmic but in the purest form. Its zen and its beautiful. This is all really deep........

The Operating Room Looked Nothing Like ‘Grays Anatomy’

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“The Operating Room Looked Nothing Like ‘Grays Anatomy’”
My damn veins were NOT cooperating while I was laying there in the operating room and the anesthesiologist tried to get an IV in me. I told him they roll on my wrists but naturally a man who has done this countless times felt he knew best and kept trying. Luckily he shot me with some kind of numbing agent so I didn’t care. (When I woke, I had an IV in my hand.)
A few months ago I found out I had a large uterine fibroid which was causing a lot of discomfort and needed to be removed. Fibroids are not life threatening, though some times they grow to ridiculous sizes. One of the heavier reported fibroids in history was over 25 lbs. I am definitely not the worst scenario. Mine was however the size of a small football, which was larger than the originally thought large grapefruit and we figured weighed about 1.5 lbs. You couldn’t ask to lose a pound and a half any faster.
I realized in January this year that something was not right. I started noticing a large bump in my pelvis area and it would swell a few days a month and then be almost invisible except when I was laying down. Ty and I were on our way to Denver and, though usually I am a great traveller, I kept making him stop at the rest stops. I just couldn’t hold it like I used to. I was waiting to get in to see a new OB to see what the problem was and finally got to see her in March. She knew what it was as soon as she saw and she looked pretty surprised at the size. She told me that if it didn’t cause any problems I could leave it in as long as I wanted but it was getting to a point of serious discomfort and was beginning to affect my every day life so I had to bite the bullet.
I avoided the oh so frustrating and attention asking Facebook posts about it and told people that I figured would notice my social absence in email, text etc and pretty much kept it hush hush. I think of Facebook as a ‘spread the word’ media and this wasn’t a ‘spread the word’ situation. But then as I lay in the hospital I decided that blogging about it would be a different story. First, its post surgery, asking for no sympathy, worry, or ‘its gonna be ok’s; Second, Blogs don’t have the need for comment the way Facebook does which is my first hang up. I want to talk about my experience for those who have been or may go through this to help and don’t want to ask for attention and do so in more than the 40 characters allotted; Third, I have about 400 friends on Facebook, 350 of which I rarely hear from or speak to, and 30 of whom probably don’t read this blog. (No offense, or discredit to anyone but if you’re on Facebook, you know how it goes). Last but not least, my personal struggle is so small compared to perfect strangers and recent family members who have been diagnosed with far worse. I need not ask for prayers and help when so many people need it more. (Ty’s cousin recently found out his body is riddled with cancer. It seems hardly fair to worry about me when he and his family need help that I don’t require)
*Now that I’m done with that rant*
I was a little nervous about the surgery. After all, I’ve never so much as broken a bone. (Call me what you will but I am not a prissy girl…..just safe) It took some good friends to point out that I was in a depressive funk and had to get back to me. After playing a very down and deep set at our favorite bar, I went home and cried one night. I felt better after that. Aah, how therapeutic a good cry can be, and yet seen as weakness. Interesting.
I went in for my pre-op and listened to all the horrible things that could happen with rare chance, and some of them were actually laughable. “On rare occasions, while removing the fibroid, due to its close proximity to your bowels, a small incision can occur causing bowel leakage into your uterus and infection. In this case a specialist will be called in to fix this and you will be closely monitored.’ I laughed and said to my OB ‘So, you’re saying I could literally shit my own uterus? How would you list that in my obituary?’ She laughed. (In these cases I wonder why an extra procedure would not be covered by the hospital. If you order a meal that is made improperly, does the restaurant not refund the price? Just a thought here people)
Sadly, there are risks as with any surgery. If there is too much blood flow to the fibroid (which we were 99% sure there was a LOT) I could bleed out and if the complications were too much, they would have to give me a hysterectomy or I could even die. This was one of my biggest worries.
5/4/10 Day of Surgery
My sister Kristianna, having previously teased me about my awesome situation, referenced ‘Alien’ saying that my fibroid was actually an alien getting ready to burst out of my belly at any moment, and changed the procedure name from a myomectomy or something like that, to an alien-infant-ectomy. I showed to the hospital and checked in. Kristi, Ty, and my dad were with me. They took me in back to put on the super sexy robe and pee in a cup and then asked me questions that seem silly to ask a pre op patient of any sort. ‘What is your desired outcome?’ ‘To live’ I said ‘How can we make sure to reach your desired outcome’ ‘I’m alive after surgery’ I said. (These are REALLY the questions and answers given)
The anesthesiologist came in and was ready to go even though I hadn’t given blood or been given my IV tube so they put me in a bed, I said goodbye to Ty and they took me off. After prep questions making sure I understood the procedure, they took me in the room. I lay there thinking ‘This looks nothing like ‘Grays Anatomy’ and soon fell asleep. I was somewhat conscious to hear the nurse in recovery talking to another nurse and saying I lost a lot of blood and saying how pale I was. I woke again as I was wheeled into my room because I heard Ty’s voice. It made me conscious and I wanted to hold his hand but couldn’t really move. The next 3 days were groggy. I had a morphine pump that I used as little as I could because I wanted to make sure I could handle it if I didn’t get meds when I needed, (which later proved to be the best idea I’d had because my nurses never brought my meds on time and I would have to page them to ask for them). I also had a catheter that didn’t drain properly so I always had a full bladder until they drained it, and was given 2 bags of blood the first night. (my joke referenced Sesame Street’s Count saying ‘1 bag of blood wa ah ah, 2 bags of blood wa ah ah…’) Thank God for the following: Kristi or Ty staying with me, my wonderful visitors, and my CNA Ian, who made me walk when I didn’t want to and just get the hell out of bed because I needed someone to knowingly nudge me and make me get better. I came home Thursday afternoon and slept. I realized my bed was higher than the hospitals and had some trouble getting in and out for the first day, but soon figured out the trick. Family brought food and visited, and I figured out how to wash my hair in the sink and brush my teeth using a Dixie cup to spit. Ty helped me take a wanna be bath today and let me just say WHAT a difference! It really is the little things in life that you forget are so wonderful, like showering, sitting outside in the sun, walking, breathing, and just being totally independent. Even now I sit here writing filled with oxycodone and prescription strength Ibuprofen with an ice pack on my wound wishing I could just have a good stretch. (forgive any scatterbrained thoughts)
I have realized with all the personal and embarrassing things happening through all this how important it is to have close friends and family who love you no mater what. I lay here in a night gown that is far to large for me for the purpose of movement, wearing knit underwear that the hospital gave me (and let me just say it is some SEXY underwear), unable to fully shower, waking Ty up at all hours of the night with needs like ice in my ice pack, and the tums from the car, as well as some extremely personal and unmentionable circumstances that are only for the closest of close friends, and I am thankful that the people I surround myself with are truly my friends. People that love me and worry for me and bring me flowers and food and stuffed animals and I am so glad that I didn’t shit my uterus and die.

ASCAP 2010

This past week Melody and I had the amazing opportunity to attend the ASCAP "I Create Music" Expo in Hollywood, Ca. For those of you who don't know what ASCAP is, it's American Society of Composers, Authors, & Publishers. We had the amazing chance to interact with some of the music industry's top people as well as listen to some amazing speakers talk about their careers and what got them to where they are at.
I'm going to take you with me on the journey and tell you how the weekend happened from my point of view . . . . here we go!

Wednesday morning comes and the anticipation has been killing us to head out on the road and start our first "long distance" road trip. The few days before Mel spent a lot of her time compiling the "perfect" iPod road trip mix, just to find out that Kole's car doesn't have an input jack. DOH! So it's CD's & old fashion radio for us on the drive.

After picking up Mike, getting some road snacks, and stopping to pee, we're finally on the road headed south towards warmer weather. The drive wasn't bad at all, except that it rained the whole time up until we rolled into Vegas, where the sky cleared just enough to see the sun setting over Sin City.

Now the plan was that we were to meet up with Kole at one of her friends house, after changing plans 3 or 4 times, we eventually ended up doing what we had originally set out to do. Now the only problem was that her friend lived in a gated community that had a guard at the front gates. *Note to self: Make sure that you know the name of the person who's house your going to, make sure you know the correct gate to go to, and also, make sure that you understand that they may want to do a complete background check along with a rectal exam before letting you into their "gated club"

Finally we were in Vegas and headed over to The Freakin Frog for our show. The Freakin Frog is located just across the street from the UNLV campus so they get a lot of the college crowd in there. Another draw they have is their 777 different beers and over 200 different kinds of whiskey, SCORE! The sound guy, Howard, pulled us aside and explained to us the history of The Freakin Frog along with the 777 beers, and finished off with a tour of the beer cooler *drooling*. He basically said to us "If you come in here and fuck around on stage and make a spectacle of yourselves, don't expect to come back". So we start the show, Mel and I take the stage for our set and we're playing for a few sparse couples in the place and at the bar is a UNLV softball rec team, they seemed to enjoy the music and we had a great time. Next up was Kole, this deserves a whole new paragraph to tell her story . . .

Kole takes the stage, and if you don't know anything about her, let me help you understand her a little better. She's a ball of friggin energy ALWAYS! So she's up on stage playing her songs and interacting with the crowd. "If I leave here without at least some sort of tip, I can't get a pack of gum on the way to LA, so please tip me" she says in her quirky way. Sure enough, she get's a couple dollar bills and a stick of gum. Always be conscious of what your asking for, because you might just get it!

I was the DD for the night because we were headed to LA after our show. Here's what happens when you get a group of Utahns together in Vegas . . . Mike becomes Michael or Gapa, Mel becomes Leody, and Kole, well Kole is Kole. So on to LA . . .

The drive wasn't bad at all, Mike, Kole, and Mel slept for most of the way and finally we pulled into Hollywood at 4:30am ready to crash. After unloading the car, finding our rooms, brushing our teeth, and finally settling in, it was 5am.

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* sounds my alarm at 7am and the only thing that I can think to myself is "Who on God's earth is stupid enough to wake up at 7am just for some music conference?" Us apparently. 2 hours of sleep is tough but nothing that a few cups of coffee can't fix! So we get into the car and make our way down to the Renaissance Hotel where ASCAP was being held.

I won't go too much into detail about the classes and speakers because that was something that I think you need to see for yourself to actually get the full effect.

The first day was tough because none of us had slept too much the night before, we had just spent a full day in & out of various classes, and we still had to drive down to Long Beach to play another show. So unfortunately for Mel we had to miss most of John Mayer talking, sorry Mel. On the brighter side, we were really excited about playing that night at a place called DiPiazza's. We had tried to book a gig there a few months before without any luck, but because we had helped another band from Long Beach score a gig in SLC, they helped us get booked. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT GIG TRADING IS BRILLIANT!!!!!

The show went great, the crowd was responsive, Mel's long lost cousin showed up, and the Lakers lost! Great night!

Friday came and went without a hitch, nothing dramatic happened during the day, but once the night came so did SUSHI! We met up with a couple friends that we knew from down there at this little hol-in-the-wall place called Sushi Ike in Hollywood. Little did we know, but this place is one of the most coveted sushi stops in LA and they didn't disappoint! DE-FREAKIN-LICIOUS! The best part about eating sushi is that there's a little bit of a sushi coma that comes on after and it makes sleeping quite nice!

So on to Saturday, this was the big finishing day of ASCAP and we were trying to soak all of it in that we could. The classes went great as usual, and the whole event was capped off with an amazing Justin Timberlake & Bill Withers interview . . . some of my favorite words from Bill Withers were "It's time to stop worrying about what designer clothes your going to wear, or who your going to be seen with, it's time to get back to making music because you love to make music!". Cheers to this Bill!

Saturday night was FULL of great times, we walked over to the Grauman's Chinese Theater and saw all of the celebrity foot & hand prints, Mel got sliced up by an impressionistic Edward Scissor-Hands, we saw a Zombie march of about 100-150 people fully dressed as zombies, and then it was on to U-wink for cocktails. U-wink is a sports type bar that has little touchscreen tv's at every table. The touch screen is how you do everything at this place, it's how you place a drink order, food order, play games with people throughout the whole bar, and just an all around cool atmosphere. The best part for me was that as we played bingo with the whole bar, I kept putting my name as "Lakers Suck", this was especially great when we won and everyone's screen popped up "Lakers Suck is the WINNER!" HAHAHA, all of this during the actual Laker game where they were getting whopped on by OKC. This was my own personal victory, watching the Lakers lose twice and both while I was in LA!

So onto Sunday which was the day that really made this whole trip worth it for me. It started out a little better than the previous days because we didn't have to wake our asses up at 7am, we could actually sleep in a little bit. The weather was absolutely perfect and the coffee was extra delicious. We were getting set up for our backyard concert session that was to take place that afternoon. We hadn't really put much into planning this, other than we all knew that we were going to hang out in the back yard, and play some music.

As myself and John Zay were setting up the chars and getting all of the dog poo out of the way, John started talking to be about the "power of the tree". In this backyard there is a huge tree that overhangs the entire size of the yard. "It's full of great vibes" John told me. And let me tell you, this was ever so true. The concert started off with Marc "Coop" Cooper on guitar playing some ambient moody riffs, then Shelly Riff adding his acoustic take, John Zay on 12-string really filled up the mix, Kole & Melody singing lightly, and I was keeping some rhythmic beats going on the guitar body. This 1st jam lasted about 15 minutes and really set the feeling for the rest of the afternoon.

Each of us took turns playing our songs and every other musician would join in and create a version of the song that no one had ever heard before. This was pure magic and to me what making music is all about. None of us had EVER played music together, yet we all spoke the same language and communicated without a flaw.

Sunday April 25th, 2010 - Los Feliz, Ca - This is a date that I will always keep in my memory bank as one that helped reload my love and passion for music. The love and passion has never left me, but there are times that you need a little boost, and this did more than boost it, it redefined it. What an amazing weekend!


So what a great weekend I had and we look forward to including many many more people in trips like this in the future!

*Memory*

*Memory*

(2 uncensored phrases)

I remember sitting at work thinking about all the cool things going on around SLC and how fun it would be to be a part of them. When you're an acoustic musician, you have to be careful who you're trying to get in with. I mean, though I think Gawdzye (http://www.myspace.com/gawdzye) is a great heavy metal band, I don't believe we would do ourselves any favors to open for them. right?
I began searching artist names of people touring through Utah and sending emails to them from their websites asking if we could open for them. I probably sent about 30 emails that week. Mostly I was asking smaller acts, but sometimes I got bold and sent one to, say, Colbie Calliet or someone. I figured, they may say no now, but next time they come through, I'll ask again, and again, until they start either remembering us, and I can build a relationship with them without being a crazy person, or they just pick us out of luck. I mean, Roll the dice, they'll land on 7 at least once :D

I had been talking to Ty a few days before about how excited I was that J.R. Richards (http://www.jrrichards.com) of Dishwalla ('Counting Blue Cars') had chosen to 'Follow' me on Twitter. I figured it had to be some mistake but all the same, J.R. is a HUGE inspiration to Ty and I both and we love his old and new music. With a wild hair up my ass, I wrote to him and asked if we could open for him.

Before I go any further, I want to address any aspiring musicians etc reading this....

When you send an email to someone asking to gig, whether its to the coffee shop next door or fucking, J.R. Richards manager, you have to be certain you do a few things.

1: Sell yourself. I don't mean offer a blow job in exchange for the spot. I mean tell them about you in a way that says "if you don't book me, you'll miss out on a GREAT performer". Now, you can't JUST say that. Here's a sample of someone I will make up:

"Gene Roddenberry comes from a hometown family with hometown values that translates into hometown music. He has been singing since he was a child and knew he was going to write songs to speak to the world. His sound is unmistakable and fascinating. Gene has performed with musicians such as Larry King, Tyra Banks, and the great Melody with Tyler Forsberg, and has traveled the world over building a fan base that is growing and dedicated....." etc etc etc. I would go on to talk about what you've done that stands out, what makes you special, and if you can be you without being weird, dirty, or creepy, DO IT. Just sell yourself!

2: If you don't get a response, treat it like a date. Don't write back every day until you get one. Wait 3 days, then, if you feel there's a chance, check back. My rule of thumb though, is if I don't get even a 'thank you we'll be in touch', I don't write back until they may be looking for another act. Remember, if you seem like you're going to stalk, fall over, bug, or otherwise annoy their artist, you wont get booked no matter how good you are.

and I think I'll cut this to -

3: Be professional and very grateful. If they write back and say, 'you suck and we really think you shouldn't quit your day job" Don't tell them where to shove it or be nasty about it. If they never respond, don't write to them and tell them you don't appreciate being ignored or what ever you want to do. And if you get a response and they like you, thank them. Not so much its all the email says. you don't want to look desperate. But tell them how much you appreciate it and be thankful that you got a response. And don't say anything stupid like 'my girlfriend and I make love to your music all the time' lol

Back to the subject;

I sent an email to J.R. Richards, expecting to hear nothing but in the back of my head I kept thinking, "He DOES follow me... maybe...."

We received a response from his manager saying 'I forwarded this to his booking agent' then the booking agent said 'yes we'll be there and may be looking for an opener. I forwarded you to the the guy in charge of that show' The guy in charge of that show wrote us and told us he loved us. We began the booking process but had to wait until J.R.'s team confirmed 100%. It was rough cause we wanted to shout if from the rooftops "WE'RE OPENING FOR J.R. RICHARDS!!!" But we didn't want to tell everyone and have it fall through (reputation is everything. If people think you're a big fat liar, you might as well be because its hard to prove otherwise)

Finally, it was confirmed. We opened for J.R. Richards on October 26, 2009 for a benefit concert for Hanna Laursen. He and his team are the nicest most delicious smelling people I've ever met. We were honored and humbled and realized we have a hell of a lot of work to do lol.

We aimed for something that seemed unattainable and though I sent over 30 messages and we literally only received 1 response, we were able to take part in a life changing and beautiful experience. Thank you to the music Gods for that moment in time. We are in your debt.